[Skye is on fire]

Some days I do not know wether I am coming or going. I am sure like me, most of us gurls here only tell our wives just enough to keep up with what's going on, but try not to tell so much that we frighten them off completely. 
Well, every now and then my wife and I have a discusion about me being transgender, and it normally begins with how 30+ years ago I never gave her the chance to decide if this marriage was for her, and how I trapped her. Typickly from there it goes down hill enough that I really don't want to open my mouth in case I use my outside voice instead of the one that's in my head. She doesn't like any of my transgender friends, and feels like I am leaving her on the sideline by not including her or informing her of what I am doing in my life now.
On top of all this she feels beceause of her weight and age the chance of her finding another life partner are slim, so without actually saying it, I am being told I have left this just long enough to trap her again.

She has mentioned she loves "him" but dispises Jannet.

Last week the Dr approved her for gastric bypass, so the weight issue is obviously not going to be an issue. I have told her I will support her for the surgery beceause her health is important to me. But, I will be honest ( and I did tell her ) in the back of my mind, this is just another nail in the coffin lid on our marrage. She says no, but I have to be realistic, she already feels I trapped her, once she feels I can be replaced, why would she stay?

Whilst I am not in that frame of mind I can see why so many people commit suicide. Some days the pain and suffering we put ourselvs through is too much to take.

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I feel you on this one.  I'm going through a divorce with my husband of 16 years but different reason.  He also felt like I was abandoning him.  But in the end..I went through the last 10 years in a loveless (not the same kind of love as when we met) and fruitless relationship.  Leaving was a hard, hard decision but I wanted to be happy again with someone or be happy on my own rediscovering me.   I was not able to do that all these years as we met when I started my transition never able to learn who I was in my new role.  So, it is painful, it is loss, but in order to find happiness, we often have to go through these trials and tribulations.  Sorry to hear you are having trouble but hope you find a good resolution.