[Billie]

Janet, the point I was trying to state is that if a marriage is ONLY built on Gender Differences, and looks....  We all screwed and either need to make accommodations or make moves out the door.  And, you cannot separate Janet from you.  Unless you are going to completely turn in your man card, in which case that definitely changes the structure of the relationship.  And, if you think she will leave or kick you to the door if she loses weight, then what's to say that would've not happen rather you are trans or not??

The therapist I have been visiting with has the following truths

1.  You cannot affect what another person truly feels at his or her core.
2.  You either have to find a way to accommodate both the male and female into your life, rather setting up rules to live by, OR say goodbye to either one of them and have a Mass or a Funeral cause you are truly losing that part in which you cut free.

My x-wife drank shakes from drive through restaurants on the Gastric Sleeve.  Then she got the bypass.  Many people get 2 successive gastric surgeries because the first one failed.  She nearly died from the second surgery.  She took 2 years to loose weight and in that time she left. 
As a sideline, I discovered her lifetime friend who moved from Deleware to California to be near her was her girlfriend on the side.  I saw them  on a date in a near by restauaunt and they were in love.  I knew the tried this in high school but I was not fully aware they were doing it now.  Really I was not mad about her being bi but I was not happy my wife was having another relationship.