02-11-2016, 12:13 AM
I have been going over in my mind how to approach the subject with my wife. As a matter of fact, I had that conversation again with my therapist.
Here is my thoughts, for what it's worth.... You have to remind her, that she has probably gone through changes emotionally as well as physically, and your love and devotion to her has never wavered. Maybe there were things you didn't understand how a couple of years ago you could openingly talk of everything, now it's like walking in a mine field. (But make sure that you tell her you are not trying to lay guilt at her doorstep, but it's truly the way you feel.)
Also tell her you are very willing to set rules for yourself, that nothing matters above your relationship. But explain to her your need to do this. Also tell her that THIS is not the way you had envisioned the "talk" to be started. And for that you are sorry.
And I also broached the subject with my therapist how in the beginning I was wishing she could of waved a " Magic Wand " and my thoughts of feminization would evaporate. She told me, that if she would of tried to steer me away, that would do far more damage than good. She said that is the MAJOR cause of suicide with Transgender's, is the fact they are conflicted on wanting to be who they are versus not feeling who they really are and the perceptions of loved ones.
You really should go see a professional... It's been a safe haven and a trusted person I can literally talk about everything. Then, you can tell your wife that you have, that you are trying to figure things out but you need her in the equation too. And, you are right. If the professional feels like you are truly transgendered, they will HIGHLY suggest you go on HRT.
I hope this helps and give you a few ideas. I hope you do know you can chat with me on PM's if you want.
Here is my thoughts, for what it's worth.... You have to remind her, that she has probably gone through changes emotionally as well as physically, and your love and devotion to her has never wavered. Maybe there were things you didn't understand how a couple of years ago you could openingly talk of everything, now it's like walking in a mine field. (But make sure that you tell her you are not trying to lay guilt at her doorstep, but it's truly the way you feel.)
Also tell her you are very willing to set rules for yourself, that nothing matters above your relationship. But explain to her your need to do this. Also tell her that THIS is not the way you had envisioned the "talk" to be started. And for that you are sorry.
And I also broached the subject with my therapist how in the beginning I was wishing she could of waved a " Magic Wand " and my thoughts of feminization would evaporate. She told me, that if she would of tried to steer me away, that would do far more damage than good. She said that is the MAJOR cause of suicide with Transgender's, is the fact they are conflicted on wanting to be who they are versus not feeling who they really are and the perceptions of loved ones.
You really should go see a professional... It's been a safe haven and a trusted person I can literally talk about everything. Then, you can tell your wife that you have, that you are trying to figure things out but you need her in the equation too. And, you are right. If the professional feels like you are truly transgendered, they will HIGHLY suggest you go on HRT.
I hope this helps and give you a few ideas. I hope you do know you can chat with me on PM's if you want.