[Ways Tonn]

Has anyone here done the whole omg I have slight breasts I gotta stop before I get too noticeable. Just to stop and start days weeks months later. Just to stop and start stop and start etc. I use natureday and the growth is very rapid vs pm waiting months years etc so the effects and results for me are not a slight ache and later I have puffy areolas as nd doesn't chemically alter you like that but it is more like 2weeks on cream or soap and now my chest is larger and tissue is definitely there. 
I'm 30 with a wife whom I love but I can't help but feel completely addicted to having bigger breasts. Wish I knew how to post pics to show off to see if they are getting as noticeable as I feel they have especially in my fitted shirts. I'm 5 11 175lbs so my chest I feel has now become from larger pecs to projection of breasts and causing the crease in my shirts now and the breasts not lifting when I lift my arms as they stay where the glands have expanded well.
So here I am day whatever since I told myself yet again were done this is it and it's getting too far before it was whatever but anymore of this and you will start causing attn to yourself. At 30 I'd love kids and don't want to embarrass anyone of them one day or others in with. Being a male with female breasts induced vs naturally grown from meds etc how do you cope? I'm not a guy who is 8th and suppressing things in being honest in is there an addiction here or fantasy going wrong.