[AliP]

Oki I`v Never known of Any instance where a relationship has worked out when you come out to your wife After you`ve already started HRT! it`s a serious betrayal on Many levels.
I would stop what you`re doing and tell her first. at least give her the Opportunity that she deserves because this affects her just as much as it affects you! you Owe her that much.
Yes coming out is Never easy, it`s arguably the hardest thing any Trans* person has to do in their entire transition, and we all have to do it sooner or later. but imagine how much worse it will be if you didn`t tell her first and just did it anyway, and Then she finds out! (and she Will find out!).
Seriously hun, what you`re doing is Hugely insulting to her, and she will see it that way as well when she finds out :

You are completely right and i actually did that lat week. Its best to be honest up front. Thank you!!!
Ali