the On and Off with the hormones is quite understandable in a way, in fact the same thing happens with some toothpastes! (no I haven`t finally lost my mind! LOL) the sort of toothpastes that work on sensitive teeth, you`re a UK gal so i`m sure you`ve seen the Sensodyne adverts where they say the pain came back, and it turns out that they stopped using it when the pain went away.
HRT goes a long way to fixing Dysphoria (not all of it but quite a bit), so when you`re on it you can start to doubt that there`s even a problem that made you start takiing them to begin with.
I`ll let you in a litte secret, something I`v told Nobody, But as part of the work i`m doing at the moment, sharing this with you and others will be a big step towards my Authenticity.
When I first wake up in the morning, whilst I`m laying in bed just oppening my eyes and starting to think about the day ahead, I don`t feel female! in fact i don`t feel anything gendered at all!
it`s only when I put the light on and the coffee pot starts, that I even know what my own Name is! and then slowly I start to feel "normal" again (female).
this Genderless feeling that i get has been a great cause for concern to me, it doesn`t happen when i`m awake, i never feel it during the day, but it also has me doubting sometimes, so I do understand a little bit of what you`re experiencing.
Denial is a Bitch! it`s also a very serious condition and sometime with very serious consequences, it`s Completely alters our entire perceptual reality around whatever it is we`re in denial about. it will give No Clues even to its own existance, lest it threaten to expose itself. even in the face of stark evidence, they will either not be seen or acknoledged, or worse something else entirely different will be seen or perceived. what you are in denial about becomes Truly Un- Thinkable, you litterally cannot even think it, not in a True unfiltered way.
I hope you get the breakthrough that you need, willfully staying in denial or at least being afraid to explore the possibility that you might be will only serve to reinforce these blocks, afteral, if there`s nothing there, there`s nothing to fear, right!?
Eitherway, i`m really excited for you! xx
HRT goes a long way to fixing Dysphoria (not all of it but quite a bit), so when you`re on it you can start to doubt that there`s even a problem that made you start takiing them to begin with.
I`ll let you in a litte secret, something I`v told Nobody, But as part of the work i`m doing at the moment, sharing this with you and others will be a big step towards my Authenticity.
When I first wake up in the morning, whilst I`m laying in bed just oppening my eyes and starting to think about the day ahead, I don`t feel female! in fact i don`t feel anything gendered at all!
it`s only when I put the light on and the coffee pot starts, that I even know what my own Name is! and then slowly I start to feel "normal" again (female).
this Genderless feeling that i get has been a great cause for concern to me, it doesn`t happen when i`m awake, i never feel it during the day, but it also has me doubting sometimes, so I do understand a little bit of what you`re experiencing.
Denial is a Bitch! it`s also a very serious condition and sometime with very serious consequences, it`s Completely alters our entire perceptual reality around whatever it is we`re in denial about. it will give No Clues even to its own existance, lest it threaten to expose itself. even in the face of stark evidence, they will either not be seen or acknoledged, or worse something else entirely different will be seen or perceived. what you are in denial about becomes Truly Un- Thinkable, you litterally cannot even think it, not in a True unfiltered way.
I hope you get the breakthrough that you need, willfully staying in denial or at least being afraid to explore the possibility that you might be will only serve to reinforce these blocks, afteral, if there`s nothing there, there`s nothing to fear, right!?
Eitherway, i`m really excited for you! xx