16-04-2018, 03:11 PM
Hiya![[Image: biggrin.gif]](http://www.breastnexum.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
Hope you don't mind my joining the conversation? Seems that we may be on a similar page. Apart from the obvious (why we are on this forum in the first place) we are about the same age and I have an engineering background too, though I come more from the mechanical and design side of engineering. My last business before my life took a curveball to the back of the head was building high performance cars and custom motorcycles.
I also have been aware for a long time that my approach to design and problem solving didn't fit the usual "male" stereotype and I had a reputation for coming up with solutions and designs that people loved but they could never quite work out how I got there. Over the years I had developed a way of working that was more about intuition than calculations. I just put it down to having a knack or feel for the subject, but your comments are making me consider there might have been something else going on? And I definitely agree with you on the idea of now being able to enjoy the process rather than just achieving the objective.
I absolutely get what you mean about that feeling of not being able to face the workshop. My circumstances are such that being able to publicly transition is not an option for me at present, but the last couple of years of facing up to my GID has definitely shifted my mental state and perspective on things. Anyways.... after a long absence from the workshop, circumstances pushed me back out there and the way I felt... well there was no other word for it... I was grieving! And I definitely felt I was invading someone else's space!
A job that has been hanging around (from before the curveball) finally had to be faced. I had left it gathering dust partly because I couldn't quite get my head around a few problems and it had become my nemesis! But even though every fibre of my being was screaming for me to leave, I gritted my teeth and tried to work though it. And slowly the tears started to settle (yes I had tears too). But the interesting thing is that after a period of awkwardness I seemed to hit a new groove and I was able to resolve almost every issue that had been plaguing me, and I achieved what would have normally taken me a week or so in just 3 days! It's good stuff too! Strangely, I still feel I am borrowing someone else's workshop but I think I am slowly coming to terms with that now.
From your comments and my own experience, perhaps we could almost have the best of both worlds? Tap into the old male experience that took years to perfect, but then process it from a more creative perspective?
A suggestion if I may Darlene? It seems there are many problems that arise from an on-off approach to NBE/HRT. But the worse of the issues can be mitigated by going to low dose rather that stopping and then starting again. Understand the reasoning for self medicating and the worries of taking them through customs. So why not take a supply of the meds out of the packaging and put them in a customs acceptable vitamin bottle? Especially if you could find something where the pills looks similar, how would they know? Perhaps not enough to support a full programme and raise suspicions but enough to keep yourself in balance?
Huggy
Hope you don't mind my joining the conversation? Seems that we may be on a similar page. Apart from the obvious (why we are on this forum in the first place) we are about the same age and I have an engineering background too, though I come more from the mechanical and design side of engineering. My last business before my life took a curveball to the back of the head was building high performance cars and custom motorcycles.
I also have been aware for a long time that my approach to design and problem solving didn't fit the usual "male" stereotype and I had a reputation for coming up with solutions and designs that people loved but they could never quite work out how I got there. Over the years I had developed a way of working that was more about intuition than calculations. I just put it down to having a knack or feel for the subject, but your comments are making me consider there might have been something else going on? And I definitely agree with you on the idea of now being able to enjoy the process rather than just achieving the objective.
I absolutely get what you mean about that feeling of not being able to face the workshop. My circumstances are such that being able to publicly transition is not an option for me at present, but the last couple of years of facing up to my GID has definitely shifted my mental state and perspective on things. Anyways.... after a long absence from the workshop, circumstances pushed me back out there and the way I felt... well there was no other word for it... I was grieving! And I definitely felt I was invading someone else's space!
A job that has been hanging around (from before the curveball) finally had to be faced. I had left it gathering dust partly because I couldn't quite get my head around a few problems and it had become my nemesis! But even though every fibre of my being was screaming for me to leave, I gritted my teeth and tried to work though it. And slowly the tears started to settle (yes I had tears too). But the interesting thing is that after a period of awkwardness I seemed to hit a new groove and I was able to resolve almost every issue that had been plaguing me, and I achieved what would have normally taken me a week or so in just 3 days! It's good stuff too! Strangely, I still feel I am borrowing someone else's workshop but I think I am slowly coming to terms with that now.
From your comments and my own experience, perhaps we could almost have the best of both worlds? Tap into the old male experience that took years to perfect, but then process it from a more creative perspective?
A suggestion if I may Darlene? It seems there are many problems that arise from an on-off approach to NBE/HRT. But the worse of the issues can be mitigated by going to low dose rather that stopping and then starting again. Understand the reasoning for self medicating and the worries of taking them through customs. So why not take a supply of the meds out of the packaging and put them in a customs acceptable vitamin bottle? Especially if you could find something where the pills looks similar, how would they know? Perhaps not enough to support a full programme and raise suspicions but enough to keep yourself in balance?
Huggy