[spanky (aka Lola)]

My advice, for what it is worth, is to tell her what it is you plan to do.  You are very likely to feel compelled to continue to change, and your life with her will be much better if she knows the truth.  If you are really lucky, she will be accepting.  If you are extremely lucky, she will get into it.  If you try to hide it, nothing good will come of it.  Good luck.