28-06-2019, 10:37 PM
As the title says, I'm within moments of giving up all hope of ever transitioning. Nothing works on me but PM and that has become even more overpriced and sketchy these days.
My endo had me taking injected estradiol and spiro for quite some time, but the only effect I got out of it was extreme depression. My T levels refused to drop enough for a long time and when it finally did, my E was too low and left me without enough of ANY hormones. Even after seeing the results on paper, he still refused to raise my E dose.
I stopped taking everything and noticed right away that my mood went back to normal. It was quite disheartening. For the past year now I've been forcing myself to play man again and just push it all to the back burner. It's really starting to affect my mental well being. I'm constantly feeling out of place and extremely dysphoric. There's a woman in there screaming out but remaining unheard, with a sad man guarding the door.
I was feeling curious one day and decided to play around with camera filters and photo editing software. I cried for three hours straight after seeing what I COULD look like, but can't. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
My endo had me taking injected estradiol and spiro for quite some time, but the only effect I got out of it was extreme depression. My T levels refused to drop enough for a long time and when it finally did, my E was too low and left me without enough of ANY hormones. Even after seeing the results on paper, he still refused to raise my E dose.
I stopped taking everything and noticed right away that my mood went back to normal. It was quite disheartening. For the past year now I've been forcing myself to play man again and just push it all to the back burner. It's really starting to affect my mental well being. I'm constantly feeling out of place and extremely dysphoric. There's a woman in there screaming out but remaining unheard, with a sad man guarding the door.
I was feeling curious one day and decided to play around with camera filters and photo editing software. I cried for three hours straight after seeing what I COULD look like, but can't. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.