[tbobbobs]

Most of the time I come places like this I just lurk and get what I need. For a very long time I have had issues with my body and being a big introvert I tend to keep everything about me to myself. I remember being little and seeing these women walk around with beautiful looks and breast and I would begin to wonder when will I look beautiful like that. I had very long hair back then and Mom just loved it.  My dad however had a different opinion and buzzed all my hair off. "Boys should look like boys and not girls.", He told me once he finally caught me to give me my haircut. They kept trying explain to me that it wouldn't hurt to get my hair cut and that I didn't have to cry so much and that I didn't need to keep fighting like I was. I started bawling when I finally looked into the mirror.

Sometime later I just made the choice that I'm a boy and I should be a boy. It turns out making a decision like once is not enough and you have to keep making it every day and sometimes every moment. That gets tiring and I wear down sometimes and start buying things I know I shouldn't like panties and whatnot. I then start getting super nervous and scared that I'll get caught sometimes and get rid of all my stuff; cloths, perfumes, and toys (the sex kind).

As I'm getting older these feelings and my nerves keep building up and I know one day I'm going to have to make a real choice. I'm glad I found this community to help me prepare for when the time comes. Thank you all again for all the hard work and support put into all of this and I hope all of you get to go where you want to be in life as well.

P.S. I'm still going to be mostly lurking around and doing research.  I guess lurking is my default now. One day I'll have to change that too.