Joey, thank you for the response. You are correct. I am still going back and forth. I am having a hard time accepting that I now have breasts. But I am starting to embrace them.
I super appreciate your advice on learning to accept both my masculine and feminine side. I have thought a lot about that advice. I think you are spot on. Why can’t I be proud of my masculine side yet embrace my feminine features. I am looking in the mirror and I see a very masculine person. I am strong, shaved head, tattoos. But I also see a very smooth body with a small penis and small girly breasts. I am starting to really like that combination.
Like you said, I enjoy the journey much more than the results. With each pill I take the fear and excitement of possibly having irreversible breasts is overwhelming and such a rush. I think it is important to state that I have an online exhibitionism addiction. With each picture I post exposing more and more personal information I have a mountain of fear that someone I know will find the pictures. Knowing I am permanently exposed naked online is so scary and exciting. I think growing breasts gives me that same rush of fear and excitement.
I actually hope what I have is at least somewhat permanent breast tissue. I just wish I knew for sure. What if everything I have is just fat.