[Drew]

I almost blush to see what I was willing to share in my initial threads.  You do me an honor to find it now and reply.

Amazing to think it was over 6 years ago.. much has changed, more has remained the same.  Yet within the tedious sameness of that which is dissatisfactory, I can report a growing confidence and serenity that has been born of integration.

Marooned and isolated as never before, companioned with someone who constantly pushes the boundaries of my psychological scope of understanding, I learn how vacuous my prior understanding was, of what love is.  She is wonderful, of course.  It’s just that, she provides me abundantly with what I need for spiritual evolution, and virtually nothing of what I wanted for worldly happiness.  It is a continual source of wonder to me, how little I previously grasped of the long-term ramifications of my choices.

okay it's apprent that you are far too articulated for me to offer an educted reply to this am overwhelmed and quite over my own boundaries from offering support. Yes i have met my
inerlectuaul superior, betting i even spelt that wrong, and there are many more here I'm sure but we are  very, very similar but am still confused in my own relationship,  very much so.So sorry I stalked to find you it just seemed imporant to know more about  the person who knows me...not a lot do know the real me.
But back to topic, I absolutely and totally get what it was you were writing about so many years ago, it's still concerns and effects me too. I love but cannot be loved or at least have the feeling of being loved though I have a suspicion it's there but cannot see it,
and constantly feel as though I'm aways doing something wrong.