Kay,
Welcome to the group. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult time you've had over the years. So many struggle with this, especially from "our" generation. I've been out and about to a few interesting places lately and I've been surprised to see many young trans and/or gender-ambiguous people out there, trying to live the best possible versions of their lives. While I do envy them, I'm happy for them, because the world, though imperfect, seems better than the one we grew up in, with regard to these issues.
Here's a thought: maybe you can play with low-dose HRT or herbals. I've found my small developing breasts and fat distribution thrilling - and I'm the only one who knows about it. I do fear that my boobs will continue to be a challenge and have found that once I started down this rabbit hole, it became impossible to stop. But the point is that I'm getting some satisfaction from changing my body into something else, something that feels better. I wish the same for you.
One word of caution: the risk of developing a potentially deadly blood clot is real. I had one. I'm using topical progesterone cream and have made my own Pueraria Mirifica suppositories in order to bypass first-pass liver metabolism and reduce the risk of another clot. Look into this issue and consider it carefully, as it's a real concern for middle-aged+ folks.
Welcome to the group. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult time you've had over the years. So many struggle with this, especially from "our" generation. I've been out and about to a few interesting places lately and I've been surprised to see many young trans and/or gender-ambiguous people out there, trying to live the best possible versions of their lives. While I do envy them, I'm happy for them, because the world, though imperfect, seems better than the one we grew up in, with regard to these issues.
Here's a thought: maybe you can play with low-dose HRT or herbals. I've found my small developing breasts and fat distribution thrilling - and I'm the only one who knows about it. I do fear that my boobs will continue to be a challenge and have found that once I started down this rabbit hole, it became impossible to stop. But the point is that I'm getting some satisfaction from changing my body into something else, something that feels better. I wish the same for you.
One word of caution: the risk of developing a potentially deadly blood clot is real. I had one. I'm using topical progesterone cream and have made my own Pueraria Mirifica suppositories in order to bypass first-pass liver metabolism and reduce the risk of another clot. Look into this issue and consider it carefully, as it's a real concern for middle-aged+ folks.