[eve_phedrina]

I believe that the fear we feel about transitioning, and the repercussions it would bring, is what keeps us clinging to anything that might "disprove" we are trans. Hence, "it's just a kink" or "I'm just exploring" becomes an easy cop out from the dilema.

... I'm more and more convinced the validation, the answer, can only come from whithin.

I'm about to start too. 
Sometimes I wonder if it's because I would love to transition but i"m afraid to hurt people who I love the most, that I'm now starting.
Maybe I just want to reach a point of no return? Maybe I want to get to a situation where I don't have to make a choice but where I don't have a choice anymore?
If that makes sense....