23-12-2021, 11:36 AM
It's often tragic for many transgender I think. Many will have some guilt or sadness to overcome. The stories can have different starts, different paths taken, different current life struggles... The truth is however, not all of those taking the route of transition will be able to maintain much of their old life I think. There will almost always be loss... I'm not lucky enough to keep much of my old life with me at least.
I'm not married. I never even had many girlfriends in my life as I always felt so conflicted for various reasons. I shied away from all that. But even so I have to deal with guilt too in my own way. The unavoidable sense of knowing that with my choice, I will hurt people if I told them. The only path I think would have the least pain for me and them would be to break all ties with my family and friends without telling them who I am and hope they never seek me out in person later. If they do they will only find pain, leaving only scorn at their thoughts of me rather than of the memories I'd left behind with them.
I'm sorry. Maybe my reply will be worthless here, because in the end I can't give you an answer that would make everything better. I don't think anyone can. I also can't relate to what it would feel like to make your SO and step-daughter have to go through the pains your choice might bring.
I can only say that even though I know I'll be losing my old life, my parents, siblings, and many of my friends and family, I still will walk this path. I do so because after all my years of hiding away and being who others want, after finally starting walking down the road of transition and finally caring about my life, my health, and my body, I can't just turn back anymore. I don't want to return to the stressful, panic filled, and regretful life that I had before.
It will hurt. I'll cry, I know it, when the time comes to leave my old life behind. But after that I hope I can smile. I hope I can be the person I've wanted to be all my life and be with the person I want to share my life with now.
I suggest that you do what you say and go to therapy for the time being. Maybe you'll find out this isn't the way you should go. Maybe it will be. No matter the choice, I hope you will find your truth in the process and be happier for it.
I'm not married. I never even had many girlfriends in my life as I always felt so conflicted for various reasons. I shied away from all that. But even so I have to deal with guilt too in my own way. The unavoidable sense of knowing that with my choice, I will hurt people if I told them. The only path I think would have the least pain for me and them would be to break all ties with my family and friends without telling them who I am and hope they never seek me out in person later. If they do they will only find pain, leaving only scorn at their thoughts of me rather than of the memories I'd left behind with them.
I'm sorry. Maybe my reply will be worthless here, because in the end I can't give you an answer that would make everything better. I don't think anyone can. I also can't relate to what it would feel like to make your SO and step-daughter have to go through the pains your choice might bring.
I can only say that even though I know I'll be losing my old life, my parents, siblings, and many of my friends and family, I still will walk this path. I do so because after all my years of hiding away and being who others want, after finally starting walking down the road of transition and finally caring about my life, my health, and my body, I can't just turn back anymore. I don't want to return to the stressful, panic filled, and regretful life that I had before.
It will hurt. I'll cry, I know it, when the time comes to leave my old life behind. But after that I hope I can smile. I hope I can be the person I've wanted to be all my life and be with the person I want to share my life with now.
I suggest that you do what you say and go to therapy for the time being. Maybe you'll find out this isn't the way you should go. Maybe it will be. No matter the choice, I hope you will find your truth in the process and be happier for it.