Rachel,
Many of us have a similar story. I lived as tough guy toxic male for decades because that is what I was 'supposed' to be according to my family. It took a lot of work to finally accept that deep down inside I was sensitive, nurturing and feminine. Before I was angry, anxious and depressed. Now I am happy, calm and euphoric. My family members who themselves suffered from toxic masculinity never found happiness and live as angry souls blaming everyone else for their problems.
I have read some scientific articles about why some people turn out to be transgender. It can be from the exposure of us as a fetus to the hormones that our mother releases in her body. There are valid reasons for being transgender. We are not bad and how we feel is not a choice. Native Americans used to believe that their transgender people were gifted.
I would encourage you to explore how YOU feel and not live your life for what others think. People used to murder other people who didn't believe the the sun and planets revolved around the earth. Women were burned for being witches. Trans-phobic beliefs are fear based and outdated ideas.
I hope this helps. You can find friends and support here.
-Kay