Thank you Kay, that was a very informative post. I do believe I deserve to be happy, which is why I'm doing this. But I guess the question is, am I willing to sacrifice the relationship for my happiness sake?. I really don't want to get to that point, and it scares me to death to think that's what's going to happen. Honestly, I had 4 years of therapy to deal with depression, and it's a place I don't want to get back to, and something in the back of my mind tells me that that's exactly where I'm headed if I don't do anything and just let things be as they are today.
It's a matter of choosing the lesser evil I think, if I do nothing it will be bad for both of us; if I do something, we both get a chance to be happy, even if it's not guaranteed.