[deleteme]

Current schedule (unchanged):

• PM 4 x 250mg a day (4 capsules)
  
• Reishi 3 x 400mg a day (3 capsules: 2 in am, 1 in pm)
  
• Vit D supplement
  
• Calcium magnesium and zinc supplement
  

Also eating 1 banana a day for extra potassium, magnesium and calcium.

30 days on this schedule now. Something seems to be happening but when I try to measure it I am less sure and wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me. I seem to be losing weight at the bottom of my ribs but that may be because I am eating better in general - however there are some fat deposits it seems at the top near my underarms that I don’t think were there before so maybe there is some change in fat distribution.

<meta charset="UTF-8">I am overweight in general which complicates and confuses matters. My measurements are not noticeably any different to a month ago although measurements always vary a little depending on how tight I pull the tape so they're not very accurate to begin with.

In the last few days i’ve been feeling a prickling, scratchy itching feeling in or behind my nipples several times a day and my nipples are often swollen and erect.

I sometimes feel very self conscious, catch glimpses of myself at angles and think my body is tranforming then I see myself from another angle or compare with old photos and think nothing is happening at all.

I've had some beautiful, vivid dreams recently in which I finally have a womanly body but the reality in the mirror is still a long way from that.

I definitely have a reduced male function - fewer and softer erections. Yet I still have the same interest in sex so not quite accurate to say my libido is less. I am predominantly attracted to women but think I am more sexually aware of men than I was before but again this could all be in my head.

I feel both intensely happy to be on this path - a sense that I am finally becoming myself - and anxious about the difficult conversations ahead. In many ways I feel calmer than before. I feel that I should take a brief break at some point soon to see how I feel when not taking these supplements but right now I am reluctant to stop when it feels like I am on the brink of some changes, however slow.

I realise that I would rather changes were slow and slight which makes me question whether I am ready to take these steps. I cannot transition - my life circumstances will not allow that - and I want to ease my dysphoria without crossing that line although I suspect this is not possible and there are difficulties ahead. I'm burying my head in the sand about this for the moment and taking it day by day.

(Happy to note I have had no leg cramps, something I had before when I first tried this many years ago. The calcium supplements and the banana seem to be doing their work.)