09-02-2023, 04:47 AM
Thank you all for the replies. It does help to hear from people. Yes it’s been busy at work the last couple of days. So it’s actually helped keep my mind off things. Even though I’m in this state of mind I’ve forced myself to keep taking the BO the last couple of days but I can’t make myself do it anymore. I’ll be going off of it tonight. It’s so bizarre when I’m in this mindset not only do my feminine urges disappear but I’m actually comfortable in my masculinity and prefer it. Honestly this is the state of mind I wish would become permanent because it would be the easiest moving forward. I have one friend who I’m open with about all of this and he thinks it’s either a fetish for me or the desires are real and valid but small but says my porn use amplifies them. He’s thinks I should go just a few months without much porn use and see where my mind is then. He’s been telling me that the last 2 years but I think I’m going to finally listen to him. This all kind of works out. My roommate informed me last night that he’ll be moving in with his gf when our lease is up in a month and a half which I saw coming. My dad has offered to let me move in with him to save money for a bit. So I definitely wouldn’t want to be transitioning while living with him. So I think I’m going to live with my dad the most of the summer listen to what my friend has said and ease up on my porn use and re evaluate the whole situation by the end of the month. I have 8 bottles of BO left. My debate is now I keep them and stash them for now or throw them out.
So I give a final update on body changes and I may do my own post on this later. So as I said it in one of my last posts. My legs have feminized like crazy the muscle reduced and toned up more I can see so much more of my actual knees. You don’t realize how much muscle is around them! My skin is way softer along with my body hair. My pubic hair especially. So while on the the subject of that are that seems to be what I can tell is the first of my fat redistribution. I have developed the mound of Venus. I’ve never had fat in this area in my life and I now have the plump v shaped mound down there. My pelvis and back have been hurting since the first week. The last few days the tendons in my legs have been killing me and I’ve now developed pelvic tilt. My butt has always sat below me and my spine has been straight. Well now my lower spine is curved now and my butt sticks out behind. I’m hop this reverses as my T levels start to rise back, I hope my tendons and muscles shift back into their male position. I’m also not saying I’m getting hip growth, but the wings of my hips sure have been sore and it almost seems like a separate soreness from the pelvis shifting. Lastly for down south my testicle maybe have shrunk a tad but they’re definitely sitting higher and my scrotum skin is tight around them. My ejaculate is still thick and white and I still get random erections. So that tells me I haven’t screwed up my virility yet and my body is still absorbing some amount of the testosterone I’m producing. I’ll keep the upper body much shorter as I’ve had far less changes. Other than my chest looking swollen and my face looking boyish and softer my upper body is still clearly male. I’ve had a lot of soreness in my back shoulders and arm muscles and the tendons in my arms have even started hurting like the ones in my legs but you can’t see any changes yet. I have no doubt were I to continue my upper body would catch up to my lower half as far as feminization goes. We’ll see if I continue to change off of BO and what changes are permanent and what reverts. I hope I don’t regret anything that I’ve done.
So I give a final update on body changes and I may do my own post on this later. So as I said it in one of my last posts. My legs have feminized like crazy the muscle reduced and toned up more I can see so much more of my actual knees. You don’t realize how much muscle is around them! My skin is way softer along with my body hair. My pubic hair especially. So while on the the subject of that are that seems to be what I can tell is the first of my fat redistribution. I have developed the mound of Venus. I’ve never had fat in this area in my life and I now have the plump v shaped mound down there. My pelvis and back have been hurting since the first week. The last few days the tendons in my legs have been killing me and I’ve now developed pelvic tilt. My butt has always sat below me and my spine has been straight. Well now my lower spine is curved now and my butt sticks out behind. I’m hop this reverses as my T levels start to rise back, I hope my tendons and muscles shift back into their male position. I’m also not saying I’m getting hip growth, but the wings of my hips sure have been sore and it almost seems like a separate soreness from the pelvis shifting. Lastly for down south my testicle maybe have shrunk a tad but they’re definitely sitting higher and my scrotum skin is tight around them. My ejaculate is still thick and white and I still get random erections. So that tells me I haven’t screwed up my virility yet and my body is still absorbing some amount of the testosterone I’m producing. I’ll keep the upper body much shorter as I’ve had far less changes. Other than my chest looking swollen and my face looking boyish and softer my upper body is still clearly male. I’ve had a lot of soreness in my back shoulders and arm muscles and the tendons in my arms have even started hurting like the ones in my legs but you can’t see any changes yet. I have no doubt were I to continue my upper body would catch up to my lower half as far as feminization goes. We’ll see if I continue to change off of BO and what changes are permanent and what reverts. I hope I don’t regret anything that I’ve done.