[Fasttrack]

Thank you. Frankly, I don't think I'm sincere in my journey, looking at it with a clear mind. It's always "purchase on impulse", "bottoms up" based on fantasies of mine. But my reality is that I'm not willing to give up my marriage or make my relationship with friends, family, or coworkers awkward. I don't want to have to hide or cover up, or explain. I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, which means I shouldn't be doing it. Frankly, the problem is I have too damn high of a sex drive, and I found out only 8 years into my marriage that my wife is asexual, which has only led me to experiment on my own and develop various interests since on that aspect of my life, I'm pretty much alone. She's great overall, but she just can't fulfill that part of my life, which led me to wander down various holes. That, and I've always been jealous of women since I think they look great and honestly wish I was one. Thankfully, I suppose, I 'mostly' believe in reincarnation, so perhaps next time around the wheel, so to speak, I'll get my wish...then have other problems I didn't have to deal with in this lifetime. I just need to be patient, and live out the best life I can.