[Fasttrack]

I'm aware of that. Some people would say "you'll be back", and so on. But I know myself, and you having read what I wrote understand as well that I'm not ready for something like this. And the health risks go up the older I get. I'm in my late 30's now. Back when I first started dabbling, I was 30...earlier still if you count binaural beats. Binaural beats actually gave me tinnitus over time and now I'm stuck with it. Went to an audiologist and my hearing is pretty much perfect, and they said that sometimes things like that happen and there can be triggers that cause it even without hearing damage. So go figure. But I'm very confident at this point that even if I like the fantasy of having breasts, I'm not in the same plane of existence of being ready for having to deal with the reality of dealing with...all of it. The explaining, the stigma, the stares, or the targeting. How things might change with family and friends, and my marriage. It would upend too many things, and that's excluding the health risks.

So I really do thank you for being supportive of my decision, whatever it is. Also, I saw the doctor today, I'm perfectly healthy, no DVT. That changes nothing, I'm not going to go into the garbage can to get the bottles back.

Anyways, I'm going to work on myself, do more reading, and reach out to friends more often, something I've been neglecting. That, and improve my physical health, to say nothing of my mental health. I need to accept myself as I am, and be ok with things not turning out the way I'd like or wish, but that I'll still be ok as I am.