[CM213]

Took about a week off from nbe. I had gotten extremely depressed and had server anxiety about having to have the conversation wife my wife that could very well potentially end my life as I know it, and at the same time end and change my wives, family and friends lives as well. When I feel that conversation is close at hand this always happens, and I either stop nbe, or if I'm not on nbe take a shot of testosterone in hope to kill this side of myself. 

Also I was and.am.in fear of all that the unknown future has in-store when I transition. Fear of financial costs, fear of losing spouse family and friends, fear of being an outcast socially, fear of potentially losing my job since I feel I could not stay in my current job when I transition. Fear of having to start completely over especially when I'm barely making it finally right now in a two income house hold. 

I have restarted my nbe for about a week and two days. Started back with where I left off. I plan to continue to stay at current nbe doses till I see the endocrinologist.