[PerkyAcups]

a lot has happened since I last posted on this topic.  After months of wearing the tank tops my wife bought me under my shirts I bought a men's compression bra.  I was so nervous showing it to her.  I showed it my wife and she agreed it made my chest look better with t-shirts on.  After that I started wearing it daily.  I let her see me in it a few times.  folding laundry she handed them to me saying here are your bras.  

During this I was seeing a therapist and finally one day I sat down with my wife and told her I intentionally grew breasts.  I told her wearing a sexy bra and panties sounded nice.  And I told her I still sometimes wish I could grow them bigger.  She doesn't understand why I would do that and concerned I wanted to transition.  After that I only took the compression bras off to sleep. I was trying my best to conceal my breasts from wife so she wouldn't get upset. Funny thing is during that time I got used to wearing one.  Now I am uncomfortable and self-conscious not in a bra.  

I needed a skin color bra to wear under lighter shirts.  I bought two of the minimizer bras I attached.  I took the pads out because I felt it gave me too much projection.  I was worried to show my wife these.  The last ones I told her were for men. These are clearing for a female.  Before I had the chance to say something she surprised me one day before I could get my shirt on.  I continued to get dressed while I was listening.  She didn't pay any attention to my bra.  

When I started NBE I kept saying it is a fetish.  Being in therapy I am realizing I have a strong feminine side. My whole life I have only shown a strong masculine self, but Since puberty I was removing pubic hair and chest hair. Occasionally trimming leg hair or armpit hair, but I always felt so wrong for doing it.  Further into NBE I was scared I would go too far and scared of wanting to look feminine.  I think I have been at odds with myself for decades.  Now I have realized I am a strong masculine man that lives a very masculine life, but I also have a strong feminine side. I am learning that is okay to have both.  I can wear my boots and jeans and keep living my masculine life and have breasts and a smooth body underneath. 

I am going to try leaning into my feminine side for a little while under my clothes. See how I feel.  Making my body as soft and smooth as I can under my clothes.  My stomach, chest, and pubic hair have all been laser removed.  I shaved my armpits and thighs and feet and trim my leg hair short.  I am wearing a bra daily and sexy men's underwear.  Hoping to get a few panties and sexy bras down the road.  I am going to keep this routine for a while. See how it makes me feel.   I will say this, as soon as I trimmed my leg hair I loved it. I liked how it looked, how they felt in my jeans.  

It finally hit me. I have real female breasts. I need to treat them as such. With support, hygiene, and modesty.  And you know what, I love all of it.  I learned a fetish isn't the cause of my breasts.  I just couldn't make myself believe I wanted breasts.  It makes since. Several of you on my journey commented it sounded like I really did want breasts.  

I think my topic title fits me perfect.  I am a masculine man with breasts.  I attached a pic of two bras i am wearing daily.  I have a white minimizer bra coming in today.