[Pansy-Mae]

I am still thinking about to start, not sure, i am afraid about side effects, and the impact around me, i wonder if the effects of getting breasts, etc are permanent, or if i left taking PM i will back to my actual state?

For the first couple of months it is reversible. i.e, until proper noticeable breast tissue formation ("budding"). Anything that develops up to that point is simply fat redistribution and it will go back to male pattern if you stop PM.
However actual breast tissue is permanent, although, again, the fat associated with it, isn't.

So you could try PM for a while to see how you get on with it, but IMO you shouldn't go that route if you are having doubts before you even start.