I don't believe that being on PM has changed, for better or for worse, my interest in having a vagina to be honest: I've always 'wanted' one even before PM, but not at the loss of my penis.
You mention cost vs risk which is something that I left out of the equation: Yes cost can be a huge factor involved in any GRS/SRS, but even if I had the money and had a 100% that nothing would go wrong, I still wouldn't put myself through full transition. I feel as though doing so would then flip my gender problems around, where I would feel incomplete without my male characteristics and parts. Then I would be in the same but opposite position that I'm in now...
...And on top of that, I would have other social factors, limits, and hurdles to get over; forcing myself to get through a landslide of changes all at once, whereas right now I am able to feminize at a rate suitable to my needs/desires. For instance: I've worn makeup a few times in my life and very briefly tried to achieve a feminine voice, and I've attempted to walk/act lady-like. Some of these attempts were long, long before PM (pre-teen and teen years) and some are now current.
My ultimate goal would be to have the ability to interchange my appearance, clothes, style, voice, and basically anything else gender related rather seamlessly. This may be impossible, but it might be possible through lots of dedication and hard work. This is something I just don't have the time to work on all at once in my life's schedule, but over time I plan to make small steps of progress to reach this goal.
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I feel that it's a good idea for clarification purposes that my ultimate physical appearance goal is either that of appearing mostly female physically (After all: I am trying to grow medium to large sized breasts) or in the middle at minimum. I've lived my life as a feminine man (friends, family, work, school), and as said before I've already publicly displayed that without shame, but I haven't had breast tissue until recently.
I'm guessing that men with a desire for breasts and actually having them is basically unheard of in our society aside from the small online social gatherings in which we've formed. It's new territory and I don't expect that it's going to be an easy concept to live out. At the same time I've put myself through the paces, the logic, the reasoning, the long, put-off and mentally crushing "coming-out" phase (to my wife and close friends for now) that many people with a GI sometimes keep hidden all of their lives. I'm sure there are already cases of men who have carried out partly similar lifestyles somewhere in the world (Thailand, Iran, India), but it's definitely not common enough (maybe even less common than full-transitioners?) enough here to be considered normal
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You mention cost vs risk which is something that I left out of the equation: Yes cost can be a huge factor involved in any GRS/SRS, but even if I had the money and had a 100% that nothing would go wrong, I still wouldn't put myself through full transition. I feel as though doing so would then flip my gender problems around, where I would feel incomplete without my male characteristics and parts. Then I would be in the same but opposite position that I'm in now...
...And on top of that, I would have other social factors, limits, and hurdles to get over; forcing myself to get through a landslide of changes all at once, whereas right now I am able to feminize at a rate suitable to my needs/desires. For instance: I've worn makeup a few times in my life and very briefly tried to achieve a feminine voice, and I've attempted to walk/act lady-like. Some of these attempts were long, long before PM (pre-teen and teen years) and some are now current.
My ultimate goal would be to have the ability to interchange my appearance, clothes, style, voice, and basically anything else gender related rather seamlessly. This may be impossible, but it might be possible through lots of dedication and hard work. This is something I just don't have the time to work on all at once in my life's schedule, but over time I plan to make small steps of progress to reach this goal.
[edit]
I feel that it's a good idea for clarification purposes that my ultimate physical appearance goal is either that of appearing mostly female physically (After all: I am trying to grow medium to large sized breasts) or in the middle at minimum. I've lived my life as a feminine man (friends, family, work, school), and as said before I've already publicly displayed that without shame, but I haven't had breast tissue until recently.
I'm guessing that men with a desire for breasts and actually having them is basically unheard of in our society aside from the small online social gatherings in which we've formed. It's new territory and I don't expect that it's going to be an easy concept to live out. At the same time I've put myself through the paces, the logic, the reasoning, the long, put-off and mentally crushing "coming-out" phase (to my wife and close friends for now) that many people with a GI sometimes keep hidden all of their lives. I'm sure there are already cases of men who have carried out partly similar lifestyles somewhere in the world (Thailand, Iran, India), but it's definitely not common enough (maybe even less common than full-transitioners?) enough here to be considered normal
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