06-12-2011, 09:25 AM
Thanks Bryony,
I found the Vitale site quite interesting. Haven't yet decided where I would fall in all of it, though. How much androgen I was exposed to "in the oven", I'm not sure of. However, the fact that I started scalp hair loss at the ripe old age of 17 leads me to believe there was plenty of it there by that time, at latest, and very little slowing down good 'ole DHT. I was rather athletic, playing on high school varsity teams, and even though I was good, and had great fun, some of it was a put-on, as I was aware even at 12 years that something was wrong. Down on the farm, agricultural area, real conserative culture. Woe was me!!
My lack of withdrawal symptoms puzzles me some, but not a lot. Despite my upbringing, physical abilities, and a 21 year military career, I was always of what you would call mild-mannered, considerate, almost submissive character. A lover, not a fighter, if you will. The fact is, I did experience many changes going on hormones, but they were so gradual, that I didn't notice them for some time. The only one that reared it's head abruptly was the emotional flip. The first time I cried at something on tv was really embarrassing, and I quickly went to the bathroom before my wife could notice. Can't hide that sort of thing very long, and she was pretty curious the 1st time she observed it. Now accepts it, and just giggles when it happens. Of course, I was immediately aware what the cause was, but was very surprised at the suddenness of it. Other changes: It has calmed me, to the point that sometimes she wishes I would get more fired up about things, or people, that upset her, and that she thinks should upset me. Anxiety level is lower, though I can still get tweaked at times, but to a lower amount, and for a shorter time. I don't think she attributes the calmer amd less anxious me to the hormones as much as she does the fact that I've gotten older (and hopefully smarter), and that I retired last month. That in itself has brought on a whole new type of anxiety, but I believe the hormones are helping a lot in that matter.
Dressing? No real change. For me, the main purpose of acquiring these "mounds of fun", as well as other minor changes, was to appear more feminine, become a bit more feminine, and look better doing it. I admit to taking a week or so away from it on occasion, but that's usually due a variety of influences moreso than a lack of desire. Don't need bra & panty lines when I go to the Doc, Or if one of the kids and family visit or vice versa. And I do miss it when I have to put it away. Another form of anxiety. Before I retired, it was mostly come home from work, chat a bit with my wife, shower & shave, into lingerie and a nightie and such, and off to bed. In the morning, lounge and chat some more, change into skirt and top, hardly ever any pants, and help her a bit before off to work, and do it all over again. 10 or 12 hour workdays shut all that off, when they occurred. Now, being home more, has altered it a bit, since every day is a weekend. Don't wear any femme out of the house.
I used to have the notion that I looked better padded to a 38C or so, and she often asked me why I went so big. Now that I'm a solid B, and no longer padding, I guess I fit her ideas of proportions as I have not heard a word. Another thing, I used to dress a bit more sexily, and used more makeup. It seems that I've become more comfortable having become more bodily feminine, and feel better in more casual and appropriate clothing (still skirts), and am also only wearing little or no makeup. And only occasionally. I suppose that my changes in style and makeup could be interepreted as a lessening of desire, but I see it as becoming more befitting of who I've become as a result of the physical changes I've undergone, and continue to undergo. I'm arriving at a place that feels good, and I don't feel the need to be "sexy" nearly as often. Perhaps that was just me trying to appease my Psyche. Said psyche seems to have been slapped and put in it's place. It feels I'm in a spot where I'm not sure when I'm crossdressing, when I'm in male dress, or female dress. At the same time, I'm comfortable either way, as I feel appropriate for the situation, be it at home or out in public. Class D shapeshifter!
Hope I've made sense, Bryony, as I know you've made quite an effort to provide information. Myself, I don't try to analyze it too deeply. I may get paranoid or up to something I'd regret later. I'm comfortable with where I am, and knowing that more changes will be slowly taking place, and will be easily dealt with as they happen. And know what my (and my wifes') limits are.
Thanks for all who are taking the time to explain things, and those who have had comments and questions. It's the only way we're going to define and arrive at our individual goals. Love ya all! Patti
I found the Vitale site quite interesting. Haven't yet decided where I would fall in all of it, though. How much androgen I was exposed to "in the oven", I'm not sure of. However, the fact that I started scalp hair loss at the ripe old age of 17 leads me to believe there was plenty of it there by that time, at latest, and very little slowing down good 'ole DHT. I was rather athletic, playing on high school varsity teams, and even though I was good, and had great fun, some of it was a put-on, as I was aware even at 12 years that something was wrong. Down on the farm, agricultural area, real conserative culture. Woe was me!!
My lack of withdrawal symptoms puzzles me some, but not a lot. Despite my upbringing, physical abilities, and a 21 year military career, I was always of what you would call mild-mannered, considerate, almost submissive character. A lover, not a fighter, if you will. The fact is, I did experience many changes going on hormones, but they were so gradual, that I didn't notice them for some time. The only one that reared it's head abruptly was the emotional flip. The first time I cried at something on tv was really embarrassing, and I quickly went to the bathroom before my wife could notice. Can't hide that sort of thing very long, and she was pretty curious the 1st time she observed it. Now accepts it, and just giggles when it happens. Of course, I was immediately aware what the cause was, but was very surprised at the suddenness of it. Other changes: It has calmed me, to the point that sometimes she wishes I would get more fired up about things, or people, that upset her, and that she thinks should upset me. Anxiety level is lower, though I can still get tweaked at times, but to a lower amount, and for a shorter time. I don't think she attributes the calmer amd less anxious me to the hormones as much as she does the fact that I've gotten older (and hopefully smarter), and that I retired last month. That in itself has brought on a whole new type of anxiety, but I believe the hormones are helping a lot in that matter.
Dressing? No real change. For me, the main purpose of acquiring these "mounds of fun", as well as other minor changes, was to appear more feminine, become a bit more feminine, and look better doing it. I admit to taking a week or so away from it on occasion, but that's usually due a variety of influences moreso than a lack of desire. Don't need bra & panty lines when I go to the Doc, Or if one of the kids and family visit or vice versa. And I do miss it when I have to put it away. Another form of anxiety. Before I retired, it was mostly come home from work, chat a bit with my wife, shower & shave, into lingerie and a nightie and such, and off to bed. In the morning, lounge and chat some more, change into skirt and top, hardly ever any pants, and help her a bit before off to work, and do it all over again. 10 or 12 hour workdays shut all that off, when they occurred. Now, being home more, has altered it a bit, since every day is a weekend. Don't wear any femme out of the house.
I used to have the notion that I looked better padded to a 38C or so, and she often asked me why I went so big. Now that I'm a solid B, and no longer padding, I guess I fit her ideas of proportions as I have not heard a word. Another thing, I used to dress a bit more sexily, and used more makeup. It seems that I've become more comfortable having become more bodily feminine, and feel better in more casual and appropriate clothing (still skirts), and am also only wearing little or no makeup. And only occasionally. I suppose that my changes in style and makeup could be interepreted as a lessening of desire, but I see it as becoming more befitting of who I've become as a result of the physical changes I've undergone, and continue to undergo. I'm arriving at a place that feels good, and I don't feel the need to be "sexy" nearly as often. Perhaps that was just me trying to appease my Psyche. Said psyche seems to have been slapped and put in it's place. It feels I'm in a spot where I'm not sure when I'm crossdressing, when I'm in male dress, or female dress. At the same time, I'm comfortable either way, as I feel appropriate for the situation, be it at home or out in public. Class D shapeshifter!
Hope I've made sense, Bryony, as I know you've made quite an effort to provide information. Myself, I don't try to analyze it too deeply. I may get paranoid or up to something I'd regret later. I'm comfortable with where I am, and knowing that more changes will be slowly taking place, and will be easily dealt with as they happen. And know what my (and my wifes') limits are.
Thanks for all who are taking the time to explain things, and those who have had comments and questions. It's the only way we're going to define and arrive at our individual goals. Love ya all! Patti