06-04-2012, 02:13 AM
Pansy-Mae
I really appreciate your reply. As for laid-back, you should try living in a remote fishing village in Atlantic Canada, although the first half of my life was in England. Your comments on cross-dressing compulsions made me wonder whether my lack of such compulsions might be explained by an unconscious need for femininity being accommodated by my homosexual encounters, which in retrospect seem to have been much more compulsive than pleasurable. The compulsion for such risky behaviour disappeared, apparently permanently, once I had the prospect of a stable heterosexual relationship, and fortunately before the beginnings of the AIDS epidemic. Subsequently, having acquired a ready made family, its demands and the increasing demands of my job kept me busy but under rising stress until my heart started playing up. I was very fortunate that within a few months my firm finalised a scheme which enabled me to take early retirement and move east. My heart quickly recovered to a substantial degree and it seems has not since deteriorated further, I can do most of the things that I want to do, and my various residual health problems (except for progressive loss of male function) are under control at least for now. NBE is possibly also a compulsion, but a much more pleasant one
Bryony
Point taken - and I would certainly prefer to have back the capability I had before ED. On the other hand, I believe that what has happened has strengthened and deepened our relationship.
AP
"Experience is what you have just after you needed it most"
I really appreciate your reply. As for laid-back, you should try living in a remote fishing village in Atlantic Canada, although the first half of my life was in England. Your comments on cross-dressing compulsions made me wonder whether my lack of such compulsions might be explained by an unconscious need for femininity being accommodated by my homosexual encounters, which in retrospect seem to have been much more compulsive than pleasurable. The compulsion for such risky behaviour disappeared, apparently permanently, once I had the prospect of a stable heterosexual relationship, and fortunately before the beginnings of the AIDS epidemic. Subsequently, having acquired a ready made family, its demands and the increasing demands of my job kept me busy but under rising stress until my heart started playing up. I was very fortunate that within a few months my firm finalised a scheme which enabled me to take early retirement and move east. My heart quickly recovered to a substantial degree and it seems has not since deteriorated further, I can do most of the things that I want to do, and my various residual health problems (except for progressive loss of male function) are under control at least for now. NBE is possibly also a compulsion, but a much more pleasant one
Bryony
Point taken - and I would certainly prefer to have back the capability I had before ED. On the other hand, I believe that what has happened has strengthened and deepened our relationship.
AP
"Experience is what you have just after you needed it most"