06-06-2012, 01:22 PM
So this is the update to the first post:
I got into a really weird state on full dosage PM. I had run out of Maca, which Isabelle tells me may have worsened the situation.
I had found that I was starting to daydream about life in transition, even though this is the last thing that is practical or wanted. Each time I looked in the mirror I was feeling depressed at the hopelessness of ever looking like I wanted to.
I realised that this was exactly why I had kept taking PM!
I went cold turkey, maintaining my dosage of Maca and B.S.
By the next day I felt much better, and the day after that, euphoric!
Only at the end of a full week did my thoughts return to my old interest in transsexual fantasies etc, which I hate, so I returned to a dose of 2-3 pills per day. (Of no minor importance, my breasts were also becoming less erogenous).
So far, I am back to "normality" as I want it. Happy, disinterested in porn, masturbation and sex changes.
When I wrote THIS , I had a gut instinct that long term use did indeed start to "reprogram" your brain as reported by Beverley.Rose, and my plan was to avoid it by going cold turkey once a month.
Subsequent postings by others led me to believe that this was an unnecessary worry - now I am not so sure.
Perhaps there is a subclass of people born with a, for want of a better word, "TS-type" brain who really are desperately in need of an estrogen level to keep sane, but who also are sensitive to reprogramming to the extent that they feel a powerful urge to "complete" the transition. If so, I may well be one of them
Therefore, I will return to Plan A. It cannot hurt, and I fully intend to be in control of my own destiny as much as possible, and not be a leaf tossed about on the waves.
It took about 7 months to get from my last cold turkey to here, so I don't think monthly is necessary - for me. I'll see how it goes.
I will be on the alert for future morbid fascinations however, and at that point, cold turkey for me!
I hope this is useful data for others in my situation!
B.
PS just to clarify, if I was single, younger, with a spare £100k to spend on making my face passable, I'd have done it like a shot.
However, I have always felt that my loved ones' happiness is more important than cravings brought on by my brain disorder.
I got into a really weird state on full dosage PM. I had run out of Maca, which Isabelle tells me may have worsened the situation.
I had found that I was starting to daydream about life in transition, even though this is the last thing that is practical or wanted. Each time I looked in the mirror I was feeling depressed at the hopelessness of ever looking like I wanted to.
I realised that this was exactly why I had kept taking PM!
I went cold turkey, maintaining my dosage of Maca and B.S.
By the next day I felt much better, and the day after that, euphoric!
Only at the end of a full week did my thoughts return to my old interest in transsexual fantasies etc, which I hate, so I returned to a dose of 2-3 pills per day. (Of no minor importance, my breasts were also becoming less erogenous).
So far, I am back to "normality" as I want it. Happy, disinterested in porn, masturbation and sex changes.
When I wrote THIS , I had a gut instinct that long term use did indeed start to "reprogram" your brain as reported by Beverley.Rose, and my plan was to avoid it by going cold turkey once a month.
Subsequent postings by others led me to believe that this was an unnecessary worry - now I am not so sure.
Perhaps there is a subclass of people born with a, for want of a better word, "TS-type" brain who really are desperately in need of an estrogen level to keep sane, but who also are sensitive to reprogramming to the extent that they feel a powerful urge to "complete" the transition. If so, I may well be one of them
Therefore, I will return to Plan A. It cannot hurt, and I fully intend to be in control of my own destiny as much as possible, and not be a leaf tossed about on the waves.
It took about 7 months to get from my last cold turkey to here, so I don't think monthly is necessary - for me. I'll see how it goes.
I will be on the alert for future morbid fascinations however, and at that point, cold turkey for me!
I hope this is useful data for others in my situation!
B.
PS just to clarify, if I was single, younger, with a spare £100k to spend on making my face passable, I'd have done it like a shot.
However, I have always felt that my loved ones' happiness is more important than cravings brought on by my brain disorder.