[Pansy-Mae]

I can totally understand and sympathise with your dilemma. I cannot tell you how to get out of it, nobody can.
One thing I can say with reasonable certainty though, is that your desires/needs/feelings will NOT go away.
You may be able to suppress them for a while if you really want to please her badly enough, but eventually after days, weeks, months or even years, they will re-surface. If she can't accept it now, how will she react further down the line, with joint commitments and possibly even a family to take into account?
I'm not advising you to do anything one way or another, just saying to think about it whilst you still can and before you, she, and anyone else, gets badly hurt. Been there done that and got a couple of Tee-shirts!