05-07-2012, 09:45 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-07-2012, 09:48 AM by beverley.rose.)
GID is not classified as a mental illness and for good reason - it is a physical illness. I have GID and I am transitioning from male to female so here is an insider's view of the process in the UK.
Like anything to do with medical issues in the UK you start at your doctor who, in this case, will refer you to a psychiatrist. The purpose of this is to ensure that you do not have a mental illness. People with a mental illness are not allowed to transition. The shrink ensures that you do actually suffer gender dysphoria and that you are not bi-polar, schizophrenic, etc. The shrink will continue to monitor you throughout your transition to ensure that you do not develop mental illness because GID sufferers are prone to depression from the social pressures put upon them.
Once you are given a clean bill of mental health you can ask to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC). In between seeing the psychiatrist and arriving at the GIC you are expected to start your social transition - coming out to people, change of name, laser treatment for hair removal, voice therapy, etc. So Beverley is now my legal name and I have the court documents to prove it. My bank accounts are as Beverley, my tax records, car insurance, my pensions, etc. etc. I have blasted my beard with lasers and am getting electrolysis.
When you get to the GIC they interview you themselves, take blood samples and such like and send you away. If they are satisified that you are transexual as well as gender dysphoric then they will prescribe hormones at a subsequent vitist. This is not a certainity. If you cannot function socially as a female before you get to the GIC then you get no hormones but you may get counselling or other treatments to help with the gender dysphoria.
At no stage are you forced to transition. No one can make you do that.
Transexualism is an extreme form of GID caused by a flaw in the developmental process of foetal development. The brain and body are mis-matched and you do not feel comfortable in your own skin - quite literally. A large part of our behaviours are pre-programmed into us and when your brain has developed with the female preferences dominant and you are then forced into a male social role because of your physical appearance then you become dysphoric. All this 'female brain in a male body' stuff is 2/3 cliche (there is something to it) but the major factor is being forced into a life role that you simply detest because you are permanently uncomfortable every day of your life.
Hormones, name changes and so forth are actually quite minor aspects of transitioning. The really, really hard thing is learning female social roles that I was excluded from as I grew up because I was excluded from the female side of society. The biggest surprise I have found is how women treat me. My voice has become feminine enough that I get 'Madam' on the phone from cold callers. In everyday face-to-face interactions, as soon as women hear my voice their behaviour towards me changes. It becomes much more open and unguarded and they share emotions and feelings and ask me things that I never expect. As female, my emotional state (and theirs) is standard conversation as are very personal issues, both theirs and mine. How I feel is important to them - and vice versa.
Hormones simply alter my body physically so that my overall appearance is more feminine and thus make it easier for me to be socially female. If you cannot do the social role then there is no point to hormones and you will not get them. By the time you turn up at the GIC it had better be clear to them that you are working d*mn hard at being female 24/7 and that it is not driving you crazy in the process. If they decide that you cannot function socially as female then you will never get a sniff of hormones.
I have already socially transitioned. My body will catch up eventually in a few years time.
One final point - the spouse and family. Kids, by and large, rarely drop their relationship with a trans-parent. All the TS's I know who have kids have no real problems with their kids although some children take it better than others, but that is life. Wives vary and the bulk of them do not take it well especially if the marriage was not 100% comfortable to start with and many marriages have a lot of flaws to start with. Some wives who have been married 20 or 30 years and who themselves may be reaching menopause, decide that a loving relationship is more important than a sexual one. The number of such wives is higher than I expected and in my own MTF support group about 1/3 of the people are still in their existing relationships. Some menopausal women are relieved to get a reduction in their sex lives so doom and gloom is not guaranteed. If you want to keep your wife then you must slow your transition to suit her and involve her in your decisions so that she has a say too. It makes a difference.
The thread topic was 'Do you like you?' and the answer is 'Yes - more than ever before'. Other people like me more too because I am more settled within myself. In spite of all the hardships and trials and tribulations caused by my transition I am completely happy. I can finally live in a role that is consistent with how I feel I should act and live and I can now truly be myself.
Beverley
Like anything to do with medical issues in the UK you start at your doctor who, in this case, will refer you to a psychiatrist. The purpose of this is to ensure that you do not have a mental illness. People with a mental illness are not allowed to transition. The shrink ensures that you do actually suffer gender dysphoria and that you are not bi-polar, schizophrenic, etc. The shrink will continue to monitor you throughout your transition to ensure that you do not develop mental illness because GID sufferers are prone to depression from the social pressures put upon them.
Once you are given a clean bill of mental health you can ask to be referred to a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC). In between seeing the psychiatrist and arriving at the GIC you are expected to start your social transition - coming out to people, change of name, laser treatment for hair removal, voice therapy, etc. So Beverley is now my legal name and I have the court documents to prove it. My bank accounts are as Beverley, my tax records, car insurance, my pensions, etc. etc. I have blasted my beard with lasers and am getting electrolysis.
When you get to the GIC they interview you themselves, take blood samples and such like and send you away. If they are satisified that you are transexual as well as gender dysphoric then they will prescribe hormones at a subsequent vitist. This is not a certainity. If you cannot function socially as a female before you get to the GIC then you get no hormones but you may get counselling or other treatments to help with the gender dysphoria.
At no stage are you forced to transition. No one can make you do that.
Transexualism is an extreme form of GID caused by a flaw in the developmental process of foetal development. The brain and body are mis-matched and you do not feel comfortable in your own skin - quite literally. A large part of our behaviours are pre-programmed into us and when your brain has developed with the female preferences dominant and you are then forced into a male social role because of your physical appearance then you become dysphoric. All this 'female brain in a male body' stuff is 2/3 cliche (there is something to it) but the major factor is being forced into a life role that you simply detest because you are permanently uncomfortable every day of your life.
Hormones, name changes and so forth are actually quite minor aspects of transitioning. The really, really hard thing is learning female social roles that I was excluded from as I grew up because I was excluded from the female side of society. The biggest surprise I have found is how women treat me. My voice has become feminine enough that I get 'Madam' on the phone from cold callers. In everyday face-to-face interactions, as soon as women hear my voice their behaviour towards me changes. It becomes much more open and unguarded and they share emotions and feelings and ask me things that I never expect. As female, my emotional state (and theirs) is standard conversation as are very personal issues, both theirs and mine. How I feel is important to them - and vice versa.
Hormones simply alter my body physically so that my overall appearance is more feminine and thus make it easier for me to be socially female. If you cannot do the social role then there is no point to hormones and you will not get them. By the time you turn up at the GIC it had better be clear to them that you are working d*mn hard at being female 24/7 and that it is not driving you crazy in the process. If they decide that you cannot function socially as female then you will never get a sniff of hormones.
I have already socially transitioned. My body will catch up eventually in a few years time.
One final point - the spouse and family. Kids, by and large, rarely drop their relationship with a trans-parent. All the TS's I know who have kids have no real problems with their kids although some children take it better than others, but that is life. Wives vary and the bulk of them do not take it well especially if the marriage was not 100% comfortable to start with and many marriages have a lot of flaws to start with. Some wives who have been married 20 or 30 years and who themselves may be reaching menopause, decide that a loving relationship is more important than a sexual one. The number of such wives is higher than I expected and in my own MTF support group about 1/3 of the people are still in their existing relationships. Some menopausal women are relieved to get a reduction in their sex lives so doom and gloom is not guaranteed. If you want to keep your wife then you must slow your transition to suit her and involve her in your decisions so that she has a say too. It makes a difference.
The thread topic was 'Do you like you?' and the answer is 'Yes - more than ever before'. Other people like me more too because I am more settled within myself. In spite of all the hardships and trials and tribulations caused by my transition I am completely happy. I can finally live in a role that is consistent with how I feel I should act and live and I can now truly be myself.
Beverley