[MonikaT]

With your crossdressing history, it's possible that your depression is caused by gender dysphoria. You might find, like I did, that PM relieves depression, anxiety, and, strangely, E.D. I found that my developing breasts became erogenous to a degree that stimulation totally overcomes the E.D. - paradoxically, considering it is an estrogen mimic.

You might find it also boosts your energy, purely by making you happier.

Not guaranteed, of course.

You might also want to consider Butea Superba. This is another Thai herb, and claims to boost male virility. I used it, and it seemed to work, before I discovered that the erogenous breast/nipple effect rendered it unnecessary.

Good luck,

B.

Honestly, most of my past depression was situational and work-related. When the work environment sucks and there is no home/personal life, depression tends to set in. I felt economically trapped in a bad work environment and couldn't find another job in my field no matter how hard I tried. Ultimately, I quit one job, was unemployed for five months, then found an even worse job that I was stuck in for four years until they fired me. Again, stuck because I couldn't fnd another job in my field. I was unemployed for 18 months at the beginning of this current economy. Oddly, unemployment was less stressful and less depressing than either of those jobs.

I'm presently trying the FG, SP, RC, Hops, Maca, MSM, Fennel, Pygeum, SN program. No changes in how I feel, yet. I had started it in September, but had to stop everything when I suffered a vitreal hemorrhage in each eye about a week apart. Medication fixed one, but I needed a vitrectomy in the other and had to discontinue all supplements prior to surgery in case something might slow clotting. I will likely switch to PM when I run out of FG, Hops and Fennel in a couple months or so.

I was taking BS at the time all of that went down; it didn't seem to do anything for me.

Oddly, when I was on T cream, my nipples itched, and I was really horny for about two weeks in the middle of the seven that I was on the cream. I also began to crossdress again which hadn't really happened in many months. So, the T poisoning hypothesis might have some merit.

I seem to get a lot of energy when crossdressed. I'm not sure why. It only really happens when dressed from head to toe.

I guess it no longer really matters if I get functionality back. My fiancée of 26 months terminated our relationship on 10/17. We'd been having problems for a very long time mostly related to my lack of libido. She felt undesired.

Given some of my other symptoms like the inability to experience pleasure, the inability to get a decent night's sleep and not really being able to love, I'm guessing part of my problem is low dopamine or blocked dopamine receptors in the brain. Dopamine also plays a role in depression. I've been wanting to get some mucuna pruriens to see if it will help. It never did in the past, but maybe things have changed.