[Mandy88]

Hello Mandy,

Welcome to the board.

I agree it is important to think carefully about what it is you really want before taking pm or any other feminizing herb. If you don't mind me asking, what was your original motive for taking pm? Did you just want to have your own pair of breasts and otherwise be a male who crossdresses? Or did you feel taking pm would help change your body to be in closer alignment to your gender identity?

Thank you!
It's very hard to say. I am someone who tend to push things away and not be very in touch with my *real* feelings anyway. I know this from experiences I have had. So my real motives are kind of obscure to myself, which I find to be a pain in the rear end Hm, I would say that my original motive was to feminize my body because I just wanted to, since I never 'really' thought about my gender identity before it's hard to say. It surely wasn't for that explicit purpose but could have been unconsciously so. It's definitely not just the boob thing though, I would be happy with a pair of very small boobs. I did want to feminize my body in general. I guess you could say my original motive was to feminize myself for crossdressing purposes, I think. Or at least that is how I rationalized it in my mind...

1,000 mg of pm sounds more like a maintenance dose to me. I find it uncommon for someone to have such a rapid and drastic physical and mental response to it. I would be doubtful of any noticeable changes occurring from taking only 500 mg.

Hm... Do you think it can have anything to do with having low testosterone? I can say that i do not think I have a lot of testosterone in my body normally. I hardly have any muscles, and it's very difficult for me to gain muscle mass (had a year at the gym some years ago). Also poor beard growth. However I don't know if these are really signs of low testosterone production. Anyway I don't think I dare to go on 1000mg a day after this, so will probably go 500mg for a while in that case and see how I respond mentally.

I'm also a crossdresser but pm has had the opposite effect on my crossdressing. Since starting on pm, I no longer find crossdressing to be erotic nor do I have sudden impulse to crossdress like I used to. I know some other members on the board have also reported having a decrease interest in crossdressing while taking pm. I still crossdress, it's just no longer a thrill for me.

Yes I have read that here too. I feel today already a decreased urge do dress. It's still there though. I even feel my style of walking is more manly today haha.. Do you dress purely for erotic reasons? If you dont mind me asking.

I would say I have had some mental changes from taking pm, but nothing like the emotional roller coaster and desire to transition as you've experienced.

The experience of starting on pm as a crossdresser but then wanting to transition after taking pm for a while has been a point of discussion on these boards. I think it's a rather controversial topic about whether pm merely awakens the desire to transition in individuals like yourself, or whether the pm actually creates a need to transition.

Are you still thinking about transitioning now that you're no longer taking pm? What I wonder is do you really want to feminize your body, or are instead just thrilled/fascinated/excited about the idea of feminizing your body? There's a big difference between the two I think.

I'm sorry but I really cant tell. I don't know this myself. I think about transition in a general kind of way, and I'm as far from certain as one can be... It's not that I suddenly got en urge to transition on PM, rather a very real feeling that I could be a girl inside, then came the thoughts of transition, coming out, usually followed by tears.
I can tell you that I do feel more comfortable, even out in public, being somewhat 'girlish' rather then manly. I have always had trouble presenting myself in a manly manner to people I meet. Never really nailed it. Always felt like bad acting. But of course there are gentle more feminine guys who are not trans... That's how I viewed myself before this experience. Now I don't know anything anymore.

Before going back on pm, I think some questions to ask yourself are:

*Do you want to have children?
*Do you care about having a sex drive and maintaining functionality?
*How do you feel about not being able to go shirtless in public without attracting unwanted attention?
*If you decide to pursue a relationship with a female, have you thought about how she might respond to your decision to feminize your body?
*If you want to have breasts, are you willing to commit a few years or more to taking feminizing herbs?
*Is it possible sometime later in your life you might regret or be embarrassed by the irreversible feminization you have undergone?

These are good personal questions I will have to think about. Thank you SO much for answering! I want to ask you, as a fellow crossdresser, do you ever wear girl clothes, like, just like that. Walk around home in a semi-dressed manner? Or do you crossdress in a more 'occasion based' manner and then go back to strictly male clothing? Hope you understand what I mean.

Mandy

Oh, and on the sex drive and functionality thing. I definitely worried about it a while but in the same time it didn't really bother me not to have a sex drive or be able to masturbate ( yes willie was affacted. Will try to resuscitate later). I got aroused but not hard, and it was a different kind of arousal..hm.