22-11-2012, 09:20 AM
First of all thank you Elisa and Robin for your answers 
I thought I would give a little update on where I am now if anyone is still interested!
So, I am back on PM again since a couple of days. I was off for 20-something days. I don't think I will freak out like before this time, or certainly I hope not. But I do feel much better. I have started to accept myself as I am, wherever that takes me.
I also have somewhat of a makeshift civilian support structure that I have gotten myself here in the meantime, consisting of one parent (soon to be two I hope), a sibling and a couple of friends. No bad reactions so far.
Back to PM. I am now on a dose of 500mg a day, so half my previous dosage just to be safe. I think it's been only 3 days of this. 250mg in the morning, 250mg in the night. I don't know for sure if I am imagining but it is almost like I can feel it in my system already, and it's all good so far.
Considering the gender related stuff I am more reluctant to jump to conclusions. I am not putting my self in any of the existing camps for now, maybe just 'in-between', queer for sure. I have felt good being honest about this to people and I really do think I have made some personal progress. This whole thing does not seem to affect me as violently as some weeks ago. An appointment with a psychiatrist is coming up, even if it really doesn't feel very urgent anymore. Right now I am just soaking in the experience of having explained my issues to a lot of people in a short amount of time, maybe it makes me a little emotionally drained. Overall I feel excited about getting to know myself in an honest way, honest to myself that is of course. I am experimenting with how I act and my manners, to see where I am most comfortable. And it's fun! However I am not going back to old me or that life I lived where I wasn't happy, that is for sure.
I will keep you updated on how I feel and what the effects are of my routine of 500mg PM a day. I am planning on keeping that amount for maybe a month in order to see what it does for me. As I am writing this I do feel an increased soreness in my nipples, maybe it's placebo
I thought I would give a little update on where I am now if anyone is still interested!
So, I am back on PM again since a couple of days. I was off for 20-something days. I don't think I will freak out like before this time, or certainly I hope not. But I do feel much better. I have started to accept myself as I am, wherever that takes me.
I also have somewhat of a makeshift civilian support structure that I have gotten myself here in the meantime, consisting of one parent (soon to be two I hope), a sibling and a couple of friends. No bad reactions so far.
Back to PM. I am now on a dose of 500mg a day, so half my previous dosage just to be safe. I think it's been only 3 days of this. 250mg in the morning, 250mg in the night. I don't know for sure if I am imagining but it is almost like I can feel it in my system already, and it's all good so far.
Considering the gender related stuff I am more reluctant to jump to conclusions. I am not putting my self in any of the existing camps for now, maybe just 'in-between', queer for sure. I have felt good being honest about this to people and I really do think I have made some personal progress. This whole thing does not seem to affect me as violently as some weeks ago. An appointment with a psychiatrist is coming up, even if it really doesn't feel very urgent anymore. Right now I am just soaking in the experience of having explained my issues to a lot of people in a short amount of time, maybe it makes me a little emotionally drained. Overall I feel excited about getting to know myself in an honest way, honest to myself that is of course. I am experimenting with how I act and my manners, to see where I am most comfortable. And it's fun! However I am not going back to old me or that life I lived where I wasn't happy, that is for sure.
I will keep you updated on how I feel and what the effects are of my routine of 500mg PM a day. I am planning on keeping that amount for maybe a month in order to see what it does for me. As I am writing this I do feel an increased soreness in my nipples, maybe it's placebo