[AbiDrew85]

I have had a lifetime of posers and less-than-secure men, curious fetishists, and guys "findng themselves" at my emotional expense. From my teens until my late 30's, it was a revolving door of whackos, mommas boys, cheaters, and the cowardly straight guys (you know the type --- he makes you believe it is real until it is time to meet the friends, then it is "...adios, sorry but people will think I am gay..."
Anyway, all that is past. It seems like a bad dream from a world I barely recall.
Yup. I am lucky to have "my guy" in my life
Thanks for noticing him He is my world.

Well... I've only been "out" for a bit over a year now, prior to that I'd tried several times to initiate relationships as a guy with girls and just couldn't understand why it always just felt awkward and "not right".

At one point I'd just given up. Then when I was out at Uni I was pressured by my room-mates and friends and associates to try dating again, and once again, just a bunch of awkwardness and "this isn't right" vibes.

Enter super severe depression, getting kicked outta school and sent back home, spending nearly a year on my deep soul search, and now I know. I was trying to approach things as a "guy" and I'm not one.

I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual, but I think I lean a little more towards guys...

Thing is... The sort of thing you've described... This is a big reason why I'm NOT out there trying to find love right now. I'm an obvious transsexual right now and I'm only ever going to attract exactly the sort of scum you just described at this point. There's no way I'm going to find a guy who can fully accept me as a girly girl and love me as a girly girl until my body can be made to better match with the girly girl inside my soul. And even then it might still be a challenge because I'm not going to withhold my past from anyone if it starts to get serious.

I'm not a gay man, I don't want a gay relationship, and until I can get a relationship as a woman with a man I don't want anything to do with them at all.