[flamesabers]

Once you get to where you want to be, can you stop taking PM and other herbs and will your drive then come out of "hibernation"?

It can go either way. It depends on how long you've been taking pm and to what extent pm has already affected your functionality. Everyone's different so there is no precise timetable for when this occurs. Some members go cold-turkey with pm for a few days every month to maintain functionality. If you do a search on this forum you can find other methods members use to maintain functionality.

My hope would be if the drive is not there then the frustration would go away.

This may not work out the way you want it. Consider this, a side-effect of some prescribed medication is a loss of sex drive. Even with no sex drive, people can still be frustrated and unhappy that they have lost their interest in sex. It's certainly one reason why some people stop taking their prescribed medication. Can you envision there may be a time when your wife is in the mood for sex but you're not because of the hormonal changes brought about by NBE?

If your drive is gone, am i right to say you don't think about sex often?

That's correct, I don't think about sex often. The caveat to this is I don't miss my sex drive or the urges and sensations that accompanied it. When I decided on doing NBE, I knew a loss of sex drive and functionality was certainly a possibility. I didn't think I would go crazy from losing my sex drive. I anticipated I would be calm and feel more in control of myself with the dissolution of my sex drive.

If that's the case, where do i go from here? I just want to be relaxed and happier. Life is too short. This is my second marriage and sorry to say my first wife was even worse, she never wanted sex. I was in my early 20's then, it was horrible to be so deprived and a constant battle. (really unrelated, just whining), sorry. More relaxed and happier is my goal and breast would be something i've wanted and would welcome. Thank you for your help.

I think the question to ask yourself before starting NBE is 'why do you want to have breasts?' Besides the physical effects to contemplate such as the loss of sex drive, there's also the mental and social considerations to think about. You say you have a girly side, but what that does that mean exactly? Does it mean you sometimes desire to transition? Does it mean you enjoy crossdressing but otherwise like living as a male? Does it mean you feel your gender identity is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes of having a male or female gender identity?

As far as social considerations go is your wife aware of your girly side? How do you think she would react to your decision to grow breasts? Do you have any children/grandchildren? If so, how do you think they would respond once your breast development becomes obvious? Have you thought about the potential difficulties of swimming in public or spending time in public locker rooms when you have feminine breasts? You're not looking to wear a bra, but what if your development gets to the point that not wearing a bra is uncomfortable or attracts too much unwanted attention?

The reason why I think there's a lot to consider before starting NBE is once you've grown breast tissue, it's permanent. You can only get rid of it through surgery. I think one only needs to look through the gynecomastia message boards to find out about the shame, embarrassment and even self-loathing some males experience because they've developed feminine breasts. It would be quite unfortunate I think for anyone to undergo the challenges of NBE only to regret growing breasts in the end.