11-03-2013, 04:18 AM
I'm in a similar boat. I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown (practically incapable of typing despite a professional career that revolves around it).
I don't have anything to add, apart from hope that the turmoil will subside with some sort of hormonal reconciliation. I've always hated drugs, medication, and any form of dependence on foreign substances (which is a paradox, given that we need food and sunlight and what not), but the subjugation of the rational mind to acknowledge something so nonsensical is both incredibly liberating and impossible to subvert. Despite not having experienced any sort of herbal or medical intervention, I am down that slippery slope (with an unfortunate degree of anxiety/panic disorder randomly intervening despite no history).
Since I'm also fairly religious, I wanted to address that part of it. Though, there are two parts to this- the social and the philosophical.
Church is a social institution whose purported purpose is the promotion of philosophical inspiration and insight into who we are and the place in the world that we serve.
Gender identity disorder is, in many ways, intrinsically a social disorder. I've been an ascetic my entire life-- the very notion that I have an association with 'dresses' and the sensation of femininity is repulsive to me. And yet, I will lose my shit without nonsensical rituals to supplement the undeniable awareness. From a philosophical point of view, allowing social fears to impugn upon the self-manifestation of that which you are to be is unavoidable. If you are meant to half-it, then by all means that is all there is to it- however, if there is something more, allowing shame to govern your life is to violate that which you are.
In regards to christian philosophy- your relationship with God is, first and foremost, a private affair. I your church and your church-going members find that such a transformation is despicable in any way, shame on them for violating their own tenants. There is no reason to withhold love from anyone- be them freak, enemy, sinner or heretical.
Sorry- I'm going to go curl into a ball in my closet now- that seems like the most appealing course of action...
I don't have anything to add, apart from hope that the turmoil will subside with some sort of hormonal reconciliation. I've always hated drugs, medication, and any form of dependence on foreign substances (which is a paradox, given that we need food and sunlight and what not), but the subjugation of the rational mind to acknowledge something so nonsensical is both incredibly liberating and impossible to subvert. Despite not having experienced any sort of herbal or medical intervention, I am down that slippery slope (with an unfortunate degree of anxiety/panic disorder randomly intervening despite no history).
Since I'm also fairly religious, I wanted to address that part of it. Though, there are two parts to this- the social and the philosophical.
Church is a social institution whose purported purpose is the promotion of philosophical inspiration and insight into who we are and the place in the world that we serve.
Gender identity disorder is, in many ways, intrinsically a social disorder. I've been an ascetic my entire life-- the very notion that I have an association with 'dresses' and the sensation of femininity is repulsive to me. And yet, I will lose my shit without nonsensical rituals to supplement the undeniable awareness. From a philosophical point of view, allowing social fears to impugn upon the self-manifestation of that which you are to be is unavoidable. If you are meant to half-it, then by all means that is all there is to it- however, if there is something more, allowing shame to govern your life is to violate that which you are.
In regards to christian philosophy- your relationship with God is, first and foremost, a private affair. I your church and your church-going members find that such a transformation is despicable in any way, shame on them for violating their own tenants. There is no reason to withhold love from anyone- be them freak, enemy, sinner or heretical.
Sorry- I'm going to go curl into a ball in my closet now- that seems like the most appealing course of action...