[MonikaT]

Oh boy! That's sad news. From what you say, can I suggest that you look for a new job in the 8-5 region for starters? If you are on permanent graveyard shift, that's going to play havoc with your cortisol levels, with general health effects as well as possible weight gain. It won't do depression any good either. Personally, I'd like to see jobs with permanent night work banned... they are just not natural. You might just reverse the declining health problems.

Another thing you might want to try is getting wheat out of your life. Sounds crazy, but there is increasing evidence that wheat (modern wheat at least) is responsible for a whole host of modern illnesses.

It sounds like you don't have any personal commitments.... and your friends are not responsive.... why not take your own advice (kind of) and join a self help therapy group for GD sufferers? You might make new friends? (Of course, the meetings might be during "normal" hours ... another reason to change jobs.)

Of course, I'm making these bold suggestions on the strength of a few paragraphs - feel free to dismiss!

All the best,

Bryony

Graveyard is temporary. We rotate every 3 months, but I was on day shift for the three months prior to February, which meant driving to work at 4:30 am (in the dark) and driving home after 3:30 pm (as the sun was setting). Now, I drive to work in the dark (7:30 pm) and drive home as the sun is rising (6:30 am) only to sleep while the sun is up. Couple that with a relatively cloudy, gray winter and working in a place where I don't see direct sunlight during the day, and it is a bad mix. In May, I rotate to swing shift so I'll get to see an hour of daylight on my drive to work. I actually gain weight on day shift, but since working a previous graveyard rotation, I can no longer get a decent night's sleep even with 1000 mg of L-Tryptophan and 15 mg of melatonin at bedtime. I wake up almost as tired as when I went to sleep and often can't fall asleep because of caffeine abuse in the form of energy shots since coffee and PM seem to be an explosive combination in my system. I already had sleep issues as a permanent side-effect of having once taken Effexor.

In September, I applied for a lateral move/slight promotion with my employer. They finally made a low-ball offer in December which I accepted because I know better than to hold out for more. That only works with new hires. The problem is it could be September of this year before they can fill the position I'm vacating, especially if the replacement is an internal hire, because then that person's position has to be filled from someone off the street which means getting them vetted, and all of this takes a while. My employer is actually slower at hiring than the federal government. The new position comes with a different set of stressors such as a laptop with air card, a cell phone, and the expectation of working up to 168 hours a week (24 x 7 = 168).

I don't know how I keep hijacking threads. Back to the original thread. I was only trying to discuss the brain rewiring effects of PM and suggest the OP consider counseling. Around here, there are therapists (not necessarily those specializing in gender issues) who offer counseling that also includes religious views. I'm not religious, but it might help a person who is. Of course, the OP comes from a strict religious viewpoint, and this might require readjusting something that is deeply ingrained which can be very dangerous without the proper guidance such as from a professional.