[jamixoxo]

... While the discussion was taking place here, my wife and I made a short trip to a nearby town to take her best friend some things out of our garden. While my wife and her friend and I were talking, her friends' husband came over and said hello. (her friend is also Korean, and small-breasted). He then just reached out and groped me, saying I ought to wear a bra. Then, as I stood there in surprise, he did it again. Now, it didn't hurt physically, but the mental shock, and the emotional reaction were a huge surprise! I don't know what his wife thought, but I definitely had a lot of thoughts. Both ladies laughed, as did I, when I recovered momentarily. but I really didn't feel much humor. I later told my wife that I was rather pissed off about it. She more or less blew it off as no big thing, so I have been trying to figure out just why it bothered me so much.

... You'd think after 6 months I'd have resolved it, but not quite. I don't lose sleep over it, but it's often on my mind.

I agree with others that it's not acceptable behavior (and it pisses me off like sfem) ... But I'm going to take a crack at "devil's advocate" anyway.

Firstly, you said wife's best friend - so I assume you don't have more than a casual relationship with the husband. Without knowing more about him (ethnicity, cultural background etc) it's hard to pinpoint... But it could have been a misguided attempt at trying to form a masculine bond through good natured, but poorly executed, 'ribbing'. Because your wives are best friends, he may have noted that your visits are a good thing for her, and by forming a positive bond (epic fail here) with you, it might increase the frequency, and enjoyment, for all of you.. Since you didn't respond with a rejoinder ('looks like you need a toupe' or 'at least my gut is smaller than my tits') you didn't acknowledge his attempt.. Hopefully he was schooled; if not, and you want to have that bond, you'll have to school him - and immediately be magnanimous: pay for a night out as a foursome, be engaging, etc. Doesn't mean you want a bromance, or even that you've got to be friends, just at least not find him offensive anymore.

Secondly, I recall in college, and earlier, many 'fat guys' reveling in the attention - regardless of how demeaning it was... Lifting their shirts to show of a gross belly, or rolls of fat, or their 'breasts'. The husband may be a product of this environment ('tease the fat guy, he likes it'), or something similar, and never outgrew it. Not saying YOU were doing anything to precipitate it, just that he is stuck in some adolescent rut.

Finally, he could be simply socially challenged (to be polite) - or just plain simple.

All of that might explain the comment - but I have nothing, NOTHING, to explain why he touched you like that. Disturbing...

Blechh, I need a shower - I don't like any of these people, and never have; and the world just keeps making more of them! I've been saddled with a few of these people - and they just never seem to be worth it, in the long run.

-j