[GoneGirl]

I think about getting off the NBE train before it gets to full speed. Is it better to deal with the devil I used to know, or the one I don't yet know? Maybe the devil I don't yet know is really an angel, a fairy god mother who will save me from my plight.

Are presuming that full speed on the NBE train will lead to transitioning? Or are you referring to complete breast development?

As far as which devil is better to deal with, I think it depends on large part of how your gender identity is structured and your life's circumstances. If taking pm helps give you peace of mind and it doesn't incur significant external or internal problems, I say go for it and see how things play out. Who knows, pursuing NBE may help you to better understand your gender identity?

Well, Flame, I'd say both. I should just click 'Post Reply' now and get back to my offline life, but I'm compelled to go on.

I don't think I'm transsexual, but I've heard tell that taking hormones (and herbs that have a similar effect) can be a slippery slope.

The way I look at it is NBE *is* transitioning in the sense that I am feminizing my body (and mind) to an extent that could disrupt my life in both positive as well as negative ways. The problem is not knowing a priori the long term consequences either way.

At this point, I'm going for it because the positives do outweigh what I see as the negatives, but if the scales should shift will I be able to adjust?

I would be quite happy with breast development up to point. I'm not sure how far I can or want to go, but I've told my wife (truthfully) that I won't ever be presenting as female in public (risky assertion?). That means being able to hide my breasts in public. She's already bought me a sports bra without me asking!

The devil I don't know is: Will I be able to stop growth at some point, go on a maintenance dose of PM, and still keep the mental benefits? IIRC, Flame, that you found it necessary to *increase* your PM dosage to maintain the "brain rewiring" you desire. That's fine as long as you don't mind continued breast development (assuming you've not yet reached full size). Otherwise, a difficult choice would have to be made.

Then too, I might also discover down the road that I *am* transsexual.

Yeah, it's scary when I think about it. It's like I'm driving into a thick fog -- a thick pink fog.

CK