[MonikaT]

I don't know that PM has made an impact on my emotions. I just saw Pay it Forward yesterday, and I cried at the end. Who wouldn't cry at such an ending? As a small boy, my mom took me to see Love Story. When I cried at the end, she asked why I was crying. I said, "Because she died." I've always had the capacity for empathy. My emotions have always been close to the surface. I learned early on to channel most of the softer emotions into either laughter or anger because those are the only emotions our screwed-up society allows men to have.

Right now, my emotions might be running higher than usual because of depression mixed with seasonal affective disorder. I'm largely fed up with the world and how I see things going. I'm sick of the illusion of choice we are given at every election. I'm tired of the only control I have being how I react to a given situation. The public gets what the public wants, but I want nothing this society's got. My job has cost me everything in life that matters--friends, personal relationships, my home (I still have the house, but it is no longer a home following repeated burglaries while I wasn't home because of work). A couple months ago, I came to the realization that I am completely alone in the world and have been for many years. In other words, the delusions I've lived under for the past 18 years finally exploded. I could go on, but that's enough.