26-12-2013, 10:31 PM
Giving up on PM and all of this for now.
So why? I hear you all cry - or may be not.
I am going to type this and hit send without re-reading and editing, so please just get this as it comes....
Just so confused by everything that is going on in my head.
I am suffering severe depressive symptoms like I've not experienced for many, many years - since quitting PM 4 days ago, these moods have lightened. It was like there were two people in my head - nothing I had ever experienced before - nothing to do with gender polarity, just real undefinable conflict creating a pressure in my head which felt like it was ready to explode.
Since quitting PM again, this has to some extent, over the last few days, alleviated.
Why am I doing this to myself I cry ... I am not, as far as I know, a female in the wings - I am right as a male so why was I playing around with this ... God knows!! (I trust Him actually)).
I cannot keep logging in here - I am doing so three four five times a day, scouring the new messages for hints and clues. which might be germane to my situation - yet -to keep being here is to be part of a reality which I am not sure is my reality.
JulieTG was speaking much of what I was thinking - how to marry up a desire - be it real or imagined real, to be a male with breasts. Mymoobs also seemed to realise the same things that I have been considering - what happens to these pert desires boobs in twenty years time?
Anyway - nuff wittering ... will monitor this for a day or two and may comment - but else am probably going to rejoin the 'normal' world - just wish I knew what the normal world was - you know what, I really really really really wish I knew what the normal world was - it is tricky being an outsider.
Love and a Happy New Year
David
So why? I hear you all cry - or may be not.
I am going to type this and hit send without re-reading and editing, so please just get this as it comes....
Just so confused by everything that is going on in my head.
I am suffering severe depressive symptoms like I've not experienced for many, many years - since quitting PM 4 days ago, these moods have lightened. It was like there were two people in my head - nothing I had ever experienced before - nothing to do with gender polarity, just real undefinable conflict creating a pressure in my head which felt like it was ready to explode.
Since quitting PM again, this has to some extent, over the last few days, alleviated.
Why am I doing this to myself I cry ... I am not, as far as I know, a female in the wings - I am right as a male so why was I playing around with this ... God knows!! (I trust Him actually)).
I cannot keep logging in here - I am doing so three four five times a day, scouring the new messages for hints and clues. which might be germane to my situation - yet -to keep being here is to be part of a reality which I am not sure is my reality.
JulieTG was speaking much of what I was thinking - how to marry up a desire - be it real or imagined real, to be a male with breasts. Mymoobs also seemed to realise the same things that I have been considering - what happens to these pert desires boobs in twenty years time?
Anyway - nuff wittering ... will monitor this for a day or two and may comment - but else am probably going to rejoin the 'normal' world - just wish I knew what the normal world was - you know what, I really really really really wish I knew what the normal world was - it is tricky being an outsider.
Love and a Happy New Year
David