[SarahSchilling]

Glad to hear you're not an "autobot" anymore. Sarah will probably be glad to know you're a little closer to her category, too. That is, if she's finalized hers, yet.

Why is it I feel this is some sort of dig at me?

Autobot cracked me up though, so we're even lol

An Autobot? What's that? Transgender sounds better than androgynous? That never occurred to me.


On a final note, Sarah was bothered by my androgynous label? I feel I'm being a bit thick-headed by saying this, but why would she feel better knowing I'm closer to her category of gender identity?

LOL, it never bothered me aside from not being sure which pronoun to use when referring to you.

You can even be a Decepticon, its cool with me ;p (yes, I used to watch those cartoons)

At least androgynous has a definite meaning to me. TG/TS/TV seem to mean entirely different things to different people.

Anyways, to add a little more substance to this post...I definitely agree that people subconsciously convince themselves that they only want what they can handle at a given time. Like,"I'm just a guy that wants boobs, that's all" or "I just want the mental benefits, thats all", when they know they harbor somewhat more extreme inclinations.

Telling such people to be more honest with themselves is kind of futile....if they were able to, they likely would. It's not so much a deception as it is a coping mechanism. It's a tough thing to admit to oneself. Such desires will flow to the surface eventually regardless.

When I started taking PM, I was hoping that the mental balance it could possibly provide would allow me to tolerate life as a "man" (ewww). For a few months, it really did....but my tastes changed somewhat....and I started thinking about the future. For whatever reason, staying fucked up wasn't fun anymore and the prospect of working shitty jobs until i died scared me. So I got sober and went back to college.

Those mental benefits soon faded, and the sense of complete hopelessness returned. People began calling me ma'am from time to time, and I liked that.Looking at my life without the haze of drug use, I realized I don't have much to lose anyway. So I went from always having wanted to wake up as a girl but knowing that transition was more trouble than its worth to "Fuck, I only have one life to live, and I'm going to regret it if I don't even try to live as a woman!"

So there's your explanation for my change in thinking over my time here. Sorry if any of you feel that I deceived you.