[Marina Kits]

I remember you, Doodle, saying that you applied a bit of eye liner which brought on some tentative remarks (a la: "My, you look different somehow, Doodle! Have you lost weight?"). Is that the kind of thing you will be exploring more and more? As things progress, assuming they do, how will you feel when at some point you are (mis)read as a woman? i.e., someone refers to you as "ma'am"? Or, maybe you never want to carry it that far?

I hope you don't mind the probing questions.

CK

"give her an inch and she'll take a mile" ...I'm not sure what will happen as I give more and more freedom to the girl inside. Women's jeans a few months ago... now a tiny bit of eyeliner. ...I struggle with wanting to be an attractive woman but there's this unavoidable line in the sand that I know I can't cross. ...I may find myself drifting across it almost unwillingly. My hope is that someday I'm able to appear female or male by the clothing I choose so if I'm ever mistaken for a woman, I think I will bust out in tears on the spot having been validated as a female by a stranger. It would be a dream come true but I'm just not sure it could ever happen. ...A little online therapy going on here for me.

It's been really tough for me here in Nashville the last several days. We always go out in the evenings to relax and this is the kind of environment where everyone looks nice (especially the GG's) every night of the week. It kills me inside to be around them and not be able to BE ONE of them. ...I just want to curl up in the corner and cry.