[SarahSchilling]

"give her an inch and she'll take a mile" ...I'm not sure what will happen as I give more and more freedom to the girl inside. Women's jeans a few months ago... now a tiny bit of eyeliner. ...I struggle with wanting to be an attractive woman but there's this unavoidable line in the sand that I know I can't cross. ...I may find myself drifting across it almost unwillingly. My hope is that someday I'm able to appear female or male by the clothing I choose so if I'm ever mistaken for a woman, I think I will bust out in tears on the spot having been validated as a female by a stranger. It would be a dream come true but I'm just not sure it could ever happen. ...A little online therapy going on here for me.

It's been really tough for me here in Nashville the last several days. We always go out in the evenings to relax and this is the kind of environment where everyone looks nice (especially the GG's) every night of the week. It kills me inside to be around them and not be able to BE ONE of them. ...I just want to curl up in the corner and cry.

Aww...you'll be ok doodle. I know exactly where you're coming from. GGs have it way too easy. The struggles we deal with will make us better people in the long run though, right? ;p

Btw, what color eyeliner do you wear? I can't pull off black at all without attracting a serious amount of unwanted attention in my current locale, so I'm curious. Can pull off foundation/powder/eye shadow/a little blush much easier. Black eyeliner or mascara are gonna have to wait til I move though, I think lol