ClaraKay - I can relate to much but not all of what you say.
I have on occasion already tried to relate here how my changes have affected my sex life, while trying to avoid too much TMI.
My relations with my wife have followed a possibly unusual course in that we were very good friends without any sexual relationship for 17 years before we married, including the whole duration of her first marriage from her meeting her first husband to leaving him, even to the extent of my trying to prop up the marriage, while at the same time hoping for it to fail and let her off the hook. The whole situation was too complex and OT to discuss off the cuff in this post, although my gender variance was a factor , but I needed her marriage to be at an end and for her then to be the initiator in any further development in our relationship. And when that eventually happened, our physical relationship turned out to be good enough to submerge for a long time my GV (although as it turned out we'd left it too long to have any children of our own) until excessive stress at work and resulting health problems, and probably declining T levels aggravated by prescription drugs gradually destroyed my conventional male function. More damaging to our sexual relationship was the necessity to concentrate too much on my own performance rather than her pleasure.
When both of us acknowledged that my penis had become irretrievably non-functional, it was an enormous relief (although she still misses it a little) and with the improvement in my mental attitude probably due at least partially to PM, the reduced stress on her, and the various things mentioned in your second paragraph, things are now better than for many years and in some respect for ever, since many of the things we have long done and still can do, and a few new things, don't conflict with the variant part of my gender, and for me are at least more satisfying than the fleeting and rather unsatisfying nature of the male climax ( and subsequent anti climax). So my answer is better if a lot different. Provided that I am not deceiving myself, my wife thinks that things are now a lot better than they have been, at least for most of the present century! Our friendship is as strong as ever after more than fifty years, and our love is I believe deeper than it has ever been but with less stress.
I have on occasion already tried to relate here how my changes have affected my sex life, while trying to avoid too much TMI.
My relations with my wife have followed a possibly unusual course in that we were very good friends without any sexual relationship for 17 years before we married, including the whole duration of her first marriage from her meeting her first husband to leaving him, even to the extent of my trying to prop up the marriage, while at the same time hoping for it to fail and let her off the hook. The whole situation was too complex and OT to discuss off the cuff in this post, although my gender variance was a factor , but I needed her marriage to be at an end and for her then to be the initiator in any further development in our relationship. And when that eventually happened, our physical relationship turned out to be good enough to submerge for a long time my GV (although as it turned out we'd left it too long to have any children of our own) until excessive stress at work and resulting health problems, and probably declining T levels aggravated by prescription drugs gradually destroyed my conventional male function. More damaging to our sexual relationship was the necessity to concentrate too much on my own performance rather than her pleasure.
When both of us acknowledged that my penis had become irretrievably non-functional, it was an enormous relief (although she still misses it a little) and with the improvement in my mental attitude probably due at least partially to PM, the reduced stress on her, and the various things mentioned in your second paragraph, things are now better than for many years and in some respect for ever, since many of the things we have long done and still can do, and a few new things, don't conflict with the variant part of my gender, and for me are at least more satisfying than the fleeting and rather unsatisfying nature of the male climax ( and subsequent anti climax). So my answer is better if a lot different. Provided that I am not deceiving myself, my wife thinks that things are now a lot better than they have been, at least for most of the present century! Our friendship is as strong as ever after more than fifty years, and our love is I believe deeper than it has ever been but with less stress.