[GoneGirl]

Awhile back, I bought and read a book entitled "My Husband Wears My Clothes". I think it was back when I had a relapse of cross-dressing after several years of resisting (suppressing) that particular aspect of my GD.

Chapter 6 of the book gets into the spousal relationship aspects of cross-dressing. I think it's just as relevant to the broader transgender issue.

The author, Peggy Rudd, discusses several ways to help the spouse overcome the initial unwillingness to accept her partner's transgender inclinations. I'll give just an outline:

1. Be honest about it
2. Be patient
3. Help around the house
4. Be best friends with your wife
5. Don't forget the husband and wife relationship
6. Help the wife accept [the new you]
----Go out together once a week
----Ask your wife to help you grow as a man and as a woman
----Demonstrate both your masculine and feminine qualities
----Allow her time to grow to understand and accept
----Make her feel she is most important in your life
----Permit your love to grow and express it
----Let her help you with your problems and needs
----Never walk away when she's crying
----Never raise your voice or abuse her
----Do not unjustly criticize her for things she can't change
----Do not reveal her faults to others
----Do not destroy her pride and self-esteem
----Treat her as a lady
----Demonstrate kindness through conversation and actions
----Don't hold back what is bothering you
----Be faithful

Interestingly, I found that the mental and emotional effects of PM (a new sense of well-being, patience, and sensitivity) make it much easier to follow these suggestions.

And if, after your best efforts over a reasonable length of time, no acceptance is forthcoming?

Punt. (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

CK