[SarahSchilling]

You are merely playing the role that society assigned you. I'd wager that every member here has done the same thing, with varying degrees of success. Everyone's an actor to some degree.

If your wife is as conservative as you say she is, she probably doesn't want to know. I know some people may judge you over it, but I'm not one of them. You know your situation better than most(edit-anyone else!).

I don't see anything in there to be ashamed of, aside from a moment or two of human weakness or bad judgement. Everyone has those, most just don't share them ;p

For whatever it's worth, I feel no differently about you than I did before reading that.