[Samantha Rogers]

Maybe it's because of my mood, but I feel like I'm coming from a different place than a lot of the members who have already posted in this thread. I certainly have experienced discontentment and frustration about the mismatch between my physical appearance and my gender identity. However, I don't see it as the driving force of unhappiness in my life. My struggles with depression have made much more harrowing memories in my heart and mind. It wasn't until after I found the right medication and my symptoms started to improve that I started to pursue laser treatments and NBE.

While growing up I clearly disliked a lot of things about myself and was very insecure. I realized though despite all that, my gender identity was something I treasured. Ironically, while the mismatch between my body/mind creates some issues for me, I think my self-acceptance of my non-conforming gender identity outweighed all that negativity. When I started crossdressing in my teen years, I was very careful to keep it hidden from my family and peers. However, I didn't hate myself for wanting to crossdress, nor was it something I wanted to purge from my mind. In actuality, I enjoyed how crossdressing pushed the envelope and motivated me to be more daring. It was absolutely liberating to have an interest that pushed aside my timid and socially awkward nature. My crossdressing interest had its own set of rules. In a way, I see crossdressing as something that demonstrated I didn't have to live my life in fear, just as pm proved that my libido is not invincible.

Why did you think you disliked yourself, Flame? Any elaboration on the insecurity?