[AnnieBL]

Why did you think you disliked yourself, Flame? Any elaboration on the insecurity?

I don't think there was a sole specific cause, but I did have a speech impediment while growing up. I was always so worried I would embarrass myself or that others would make fun of me for the way I talked. It was hard to see any good traits or qualities in myself. I saw myself as an unlikable person for lack of a better term.

I can relate to that, although i wasn't fully aware of the extent of the problem until later. I think it reflected a severe lack of self confidence in my ability and indeed in whether I deserved to be able to function as a male in in a male world, together with a high degree of self effacement so as to avoid being noticed, the main effect of which was to get me overlooked when I did want things or to be included in things. But it may have been hereditary. I suspect my mother had tha same problem when a young woman, only overcome when she succeeded in a relationship with my father; the stammer resurfaced in her nineties.