[Samantha Rogers]

Robbin, honey, sweetheart, it breaks my heart listening to your story. All kids should be protected and nurtured and loved. But there is no training or test required to become a parent. In a way, we are all the victims or beneficiaries of the parenting skills (or lack of skills) of our parents. We initially learn to love (and I mean that as a verb, not a noun, because love is an action directed toward those for whom we care, far more so than a feeling we experience) from our parents. But many (often because they themselves never learned real love from their parents) are incapable of conveying true love to their children, and often what they give instead is the twisted by product of how their life formed them. And so it goes on and on and on, often tragically. It is so heartbreaking. There is so much pain, and there are so many souls desperate in their isolation and fear, and lacking the skills to find hope. The way it stops, is when somewhere, somehow, in the chain of generations, someone finds help, either through good fortune or by finding the courage to step forward and admit that they need help. No child is to blame, and yet the misplaced guilt and shame of things for which they bare no responsibility haunts them and tears at them often for their entire lives. We all need help sometime. We all need love, honey.
Many people have helped me (not least by any means the beautiful people on this board). I hope in some small way we are of help and solace to you, sweetheart. But it sounds to me as though you have a weight on your soul that needs a little more in the way of real hugs, love and counseling than we can possibly give with our cyber hugs. Oh, we are here for you...make no mistake. But I want you to find the real thing and someone who can help you heal those wounds. I hope you find it, darling. I really do. You deserve it honey, you deserve it.
Hugs